Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Eighteen words. Two meanings.

So I was just roaming around on my Facebook feed and saw an interesting post by a Jasmin Newman (whom I've already contacted and got her permission to mention her here).

Here is the post she made:

If you are not able to read it is says the following:
"Nobody ever asks a man how they get things done. Nobody asks a man how he finds balance." Shonda Rhimes, Feminist screenwriter."
"Nobody ever asks a man how they get things done. Nobody asks a man how he finds balance." Jasmin Newman, Non feminist writer.
We are equal. The difference is empathy.
The exact same 18 words but meaning two different things from two different people.

Shonda Rhimes says those words with the context that while women are burdened with being questioned about how they find balance to get things done as if they can not pull those things off men are allowed a free pass and are not questioned. Its meant to say that men are in a privileged position of being able to just do what we do without people wondering how we can get things done and achieve balance.

Jasmin Newman says those words with a context of men are just demanded and expected to do what needs to be done with no care as to how we do them, what it may cost, and with little to no regard for our well being. Its meant to say that men aren't show the attention and care that we should be shown to see if we are balancing things out and making sure our well-being is taken care of.

In short Rhimes assumes that since we are men we MUST be in a better position than women on this issue. Newman points that as men our position isn't as great as people like Rhimes would have you believe.

Frankly I don't want women to be in a position where they are just expected and demanded to work themselves to death in silence with no one caring how they feel and how they are doing.

And that's the difference that is often ignored. While women are asked in a condescending manner "How do you, a woman, do such things?" there is no doubt that there is also a great degree of genuine care and concern for their well-being in such questions and let me tell you that is more than what men get.

Usually men aren't shown that level of care and concern until our productivity is so negatively affected someone takes notice and THEN they care how we are doing.

That is the supposed "privilege" Rhimes is talking about here. She is so focused on the fact that men aren't asked those questions that she either fails to see (or refuses to see) why men aren't asked those questions. It would be the same as saying, "Nobody questions why women cry." and then ignoring all the context of why its seen as okay for women to cry.

Now I know Rhimes aims to empower women and question the ways in which women are treated and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However if she aims to go about it by falsely portraying the situation men are in then that is a problem and one that needs to be corrected.

And by the way, thanks for asking Jasmin.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Mashup - June 14, 2017

Got Links?

6 Backward Ideas Hollywood Still Has About Men - Yes I know its Cracked. Yes I know they care more about smearing men than actually talking pop culture. But also know that even a broken clock can be right sometimes.

Oxford Uni student who could be spared jail for stabbing boyfriend in 'one-off attack' has 'assaulted him TWICE before' - coughcoughBrockTurnercoughcough. Excuse me. Just choking on the observation that this got nowhere near the level attention it should have. Because at least Brock Turner actually served time.

Black Nuclear Chemist Who Isn’t a Feminist and Believes Health Care Is a Privilege Crowned Miss USA - Nothing says equality like the radical notion that women are people until they say something that gets feminists all pissy and hot under the collar.

Unspoken abuse: Mothers who rape their sons - This is just damn terrible. Unspoken abuse indeed.

Scarlett Johansson's divorce case shows why men are scared of being stay-at-home dads - Damn shame. If it had been the other way around it may have actually been noticed by more people.

007 Sir Roger Moore was 'victim of domestic violence' - It's odd to read this. Moore was a cultural icon that represented the epitome of cool, calm, collected, and in control. Such a stark contrast to being a victim of abuse. Also a shame that this didn't come to light until after he died.

The Bombing at a Manchester Ariana Grande Show Was an Attack on Girls and Women - Politicizing a horrible act of violence for the sake of making women and children out to be the ultimate victims of everything? Par for the course.

Ray Spencer Didn't Molest His Kids. So Why Did He Spend 20 Years in Prison for It? - Because people would rather presume the worst faith in men for simply being men while at the same time getting upset and offended when called out on generalizing men.

University students union blocks move to set up Men's Rights group - Once again. Men have to do their own work but when they start to do so they must be blocked. I just wish people would be bold enough to admit that they don't want men to wise up and help themselves for their own sake. It would make things so much easier.

The Hateriarchy - "If the rhetoric routinely thrown at men were directed at any of our ‘minority’ victim groups—women, black people, ethnic minorities, gays—British society would be condemned for its prejudice, bigotry and even persecution."

Star Wars Nerds, Mark Hamill Is One of You - I would pay money to hear him use his Joker voice in a Star Wars movie.

Feminism Is a Discussion, Not a Monolith - A good point and a noble goal. The problem is the "discussion" is often so tainted with starting presumptions, generalizations, and other nonsense that people are discouraged from participating. And that's assuming they are tossed from the discussion outright for daring to have the wrong opinion or being the wrong gender.
If they could drop the dogged belief that individuals like Le Marquand speak for all feminists, they might be surprised to find a conversation that is in some ways familiar.
If feminists could drop the dogged belief that saying #notallfeminists everytime a negative feminist comes along and expecting the rest of us to basically do their work for them by ignoring said negative feminists we would all be better off. Because its not like feminists extend that courtesy to other groups.

Okay I want you to read these two articles about the same subject and tell me if you notice something.

US husband splits from wife who raped him as boy - This is from BBC.

Husband files for separation from former teacher Mary Kay Letourneau - This is CNN.

Notice how each describes the crime in question. Yeah that's what we are dealing with these days. Oh and I can't help but notice the absolute silence from the "It's rape culture!!!!" crowd.

It's that time of year again! Here is a trailer for the upcoming Kirby game for Nintendo Switch.
Which games got you excited?

Stay Frosty!