Monday, July 3, 2017

Mashup July 2, 2017

Got Links?

This Is What Superheroes Would Look Like With Realistic Bodies - I agree that we should be mindful of how bodies are portrayed in fiction but at the same time I am growing cautious about the concept of "realistic" bodies. Is our desire to be accepting of all bodies just going to turn into choosing one type of body over another, which was the original problem in the first place?

6 facts about American fathers - Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to count out dads as caring and effective parents?

Women’s Blog Jezebel Throws a Tantrum Over Father’s Day - When you choose to be offended and upset all the time its no wonder you're constantly upset over innocuous things. Someone at Jezebel has some serious daddy issues.

Uber makes big changes to driver pay, adds tipping option - I don't use Uber but I would have assumed that tipping options had been there from the get go.

When Feminism Complicates a Father-Daughter Relationship - Is this what happens when you can't hide behind the dictionary to protect you from criticism about your movement?

Jay Z: For Father's Day, I'm Taking On the Exploitative Bail Industry - I've heard his recent album is really awesome but take a moment to see what else he is working on.

What's The Problem With Feminism? - Here's to hoping that the ones that care for the movement for more than using it as a bludgeon against people they don't like are listening.

Finally, our policy-makers are waking up to the plight of male domestic abuse victims - I'm glad to see that this is getting much needed exposure. Seriously a lot of effort goes into silencing male victims of abuse therefore it will take a lot of effort to raise them up and support them.

Can men stop being violent? Uncoupling masculinity from the massacres. - Its AllyF. Always worth a read.

Without telling media, Arizona judge orders dozens of articles to be deleted - coughcoughfemaleprivilegecoughcough

Male Victims/Survivors - Kudos to Purdue University for this.

Mothers 'an unseen force' in 'honour' abuse - This like saying, "Unsanitary Conditions: An 'unseen force' in Civil War casualties. By that I mean anyone that knows anything about history knows that the conditions of even military hospitals were atrocious and soldiers were almost as likely to die of infections that developed after an injury as they were the injury itself. The only people who didn't know mothers acted this way are people who simply refused to acknowledge it.

Like Men - Clarissa questioning why when women commit violence it spun as women "acting like men". Its like women are equal to men in all things except the capacity to do bad.

Sad Men in Texas Host All-Male Screening as a Joke, and We’re Laughing…But Not For the Reasons They Think - Oh look now who is the whinning piss baby.

A Feminist Reviews 'The Red Pill' - A feminist that actually watched the movie and wants to talk about it in some way other than trashing it? Yeah I was shocked too.

Trained to Kill: How Four Boy Soldiers Survived Boko Haram - This must be what people mean by saying war is hell.

Men Legally Allowed to Finish Sex Even If Woman Revokes Consent, NC Law States - This is wrong no matter how you slice it.

This is YouTuber hotdamnirock doing something you don't see too often.
A black man breaking down pain and loss and how to cope.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Eighteen words. Two meanings.

So I was just roaming around on my Facebook feed and saw an interesting post by a Jasmin Newman (whom I've already contacted and got her permission to mention her here).

Here is the post she made:

If you are not able to read it is says the following:
"Nobody ever asks a man how they get things done. Nobody asks a man how he finds balance." Shonda Rhimes, Feminist screenwriter."
"Nobody ever asks a man how they get things done. Nobody asks a man how he finds balance." Jasmin Newman, Non feminist writer.
We are equal. The difference is empathy.
The exact same 18 words but meaning two different things from two different people.

Shonda Rhimes says those words with the context that while women are burdened with being questioned about how they find balance to get things done as if they can not pull those things off men are allowed a free pass and are not questioned. Its meant to say that men are in a privileged position of being able to just do what we do without people wondering how we can get things done and achieve balance.

Jasmin Newman says those words with a context of men are just demanded and expected to do what needs to be done with no care as to how we do them, what it may cost, and with little to no regard for our well being. Its meant to say that men aren't show the attention and care that we should be shown to see if we are balancing things out and making sure our well-being is taken care of.

In short Rhimes assumes that since we are men we MUST be in a better position than women on this issue. Newman points that as men our position isn't as great as people like Rhimes would have you believe.

Frankly I don't want women to be in a position where they are just expected and demanded to work themselves to death in silence with no one caring how they feel and how they are doing.

And that's the difference that is often ignored. While women are asked in a condescending manner "How do you, a woman, do such things?" there is no doubt that there is also a great degree of genuine care and concern for their well-being in such questions and let me tell you that is more than what men get.

Usually men aren't shown that level of care and concern until our productivity is so negatively affected someone takes notice and THEN they care how we are doing.

That is the supposed "privilege" Rhimes is talking about here. She is so focused on the fact that men aren't asked those questions that she either fails to see (or refuses to see) why men aren't asked those questions. It would be the same as saying, "Nobody questions why women cry." and then ignoring all the context of why its seen as okay for women to cry.

Now I know Rhimes aims to empower women and question the ways in which women are treated and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However if she aims to go about it by falsely portraying the situation men are in then that is a problem and one that needs to be corrected.

And by the way, thanks for asking Jasmin.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Mashup - June 14, 2017

Got Links?

6 Backward Ideas Hollywood Still Has About Men - Yes I know its Cracked. Yes I know they care more about smearing men than actually talking pop culture. But also know that even a broken clock can be right sometimes.

Oxford Uni student who could be spared jail for stabbing boyfriend in 'one-off attack' has 'assaulted him TWICE before' - coughcoughBrockTurnercoughcough. Excuse me. Just choking on the observation that this got nowhere near the level attention it should have. Because at least Brock Turner actually served time.

Black Nuclear Chemist Who Isn’t a Feminist and Believes Health Care Is a Privilege Crowned Miss USA - Nothing says equality like the radical notion that women are people until they say something that gets feminists all pissy and hot under the collar.

Unspoken abuse: Mothers who rape their sons - This is just damn terrible. Unspoken abuse indeed.

Scarlett Johansson's divorce case shows why men are scared of being stay-at-home dads - Damn shame. If it had been the other way around it may have actually been noticed by more people.

007 Sir Roger Moore was 'victim of domestic violence' - It's odd to read this. Moore was a cultural icon that represented the epitome of cool, calm, collected, and in control. Such a stark contrast to being a victim of abuse. Also a shame that this didn't come to light until after he died.

The Bombing at a Manchester Ariana Grande Show Was an Attack on Girls and Women - Politicizing a horrible act of violence for the sake of making women and children out to be the ultimate victims of everything? Par for the course.

Ray Spencer Didn't Molest His Kids. So Why Did He Spend 20 Years in Prison for It? - Because people would rather presume the worst faith in men for simply being men while at the same time getting upset and offended when called out on generalizing men.

University students union blocks move to set up Men's Rights group - Once again. Men have to do their own work but when they start to do so they must be blocked. I just wish people would be bold enough to admit that they don't want men to wise up and help themselves for their own sake. It would make things so much easier.

The Hateriarchy - "If the rhetoric routinely thrown at men were directed at any of our ‘minority’ victim groups—women, black people, ethnic minorities, gays—British society would be condemned for its prejudice, bigotry and even persecution."

Star Wars Nerds, Mark Hamill Is One of You - I would pay money to hear him use his Joker voice in a Star Wars movie.

Feminism Is a Discussion, Not a Monolith - A good point and a noble goal. The problem is the "discussion" is often so tainted with starting presumptions, generalizations, and other nonsense that people are discouraged from participating. And that's assuming they are tossed from the discussion outright for daring to have the wrong opinion or being the wrong gender.
If they could drop the dogged belief that individuals like Le Marquand speak for all feminists, they might be surprised to find a conversation that is in some ways familiar.
If feminists could drop the dogged belief that saying #notallfeminists everytime a negative feminist comes along and expecting the rest of us to basically do their work for them by ignoring said negative feminists we would all be better off. Because its not like feminists extend that courtesy to other groups.

Okay I want you to read these two articles about the same subject and tell me if you notice something.

US husband splits from wife who raped him as boy - This is from BBC.

Husband files for separation from former teacher Mary Kay Letourneau - This is CNN.

Notice how each describes the crime in question. Yeah that's what we are dealing with these days. Oh and I can't help but notice the absolute silence from the "It's rape culture!!!!" crowd.

It's that time of year again! Here is a trailer for the upcoming Kirby game for Nintendo Switch.
Which games got you excited?

Stay Frosty!

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Harassment: Intervene or Record?

So a few weeks ago I finally got to play through Life is Strange. Its about a teenage girl going to an art school to pursue a career in photography who discovers she has the ability to turn back time. Long story short chaos ensues. With that in mind I will try not to spoil the story of the game but if you don't want to hear specifics then I recommend assuming I will spoil and act accordingly.

One of the big points about this game is that there are several situations where you will be forced to make a major choice that will have some sort of influence on future circumstances. Early on in the game there is one choice that particularly caught my attention. I'll give some basic detail information to set up the scene.

While heading out to meet someone you come around a corner and witness Kate, a fellow student, being harassed by David, the head of campus security. David is being a bit forceful. Not grabbing Kate but getting in her face and using an intimidating voice. She is visibly scared and is backing away. Upon encountering this you are given 2 choices.

Do you interfere and stop David from harassing Kate or do you take a picture of him harassing her?

My initial reaction was to take the photo. Get evidence of him harassing a student so I could turn it in to the principle to hopefully get him fired rather than stopping one incident of bullying just to have it happen again later.

And then Kate sees me and says, "Hope you enjoyed the show. Thanks for nothing.". She is quite disgusted and very upset by the fact that you saw what was happening and didn't take direct action. 

To that I thought was, "I should have been more direct. By standing by even with the intent of collecting evidence, I left her in possible danger.". Utilizing the chief mechanic of the game, rewinding time, I go back and replay the situation and choose to help.

This time while David is messing with Kate I come from around the corner and call him on his harassment. He leaves but lets you know that you the player are now on his radar. Kate thanks you for helping her and tells you it was nice to see him on the defensive for once. Sounds good right? You come to her rescue and stopped the bully.

Until later on when you have a chance to accuse David of harassing students to the principle and he asks for evidence.....

Now to be clear I'm not saying that it was wrong to not get the picture but that was just a moment that clicked for me that if I had taken the photo I could have had a long term solution to stopping David instead of just a one time assist.

I wonder if that is what goes through the heads of people who stop and record rather than intervening in a situation where someone needs help.

Do they think that they are doing a greater good by recording the event rather than directly getting involved?

Maybe they realize they are too scared to intervene but want to do something to help.

It's also possible that they are so plugged into the digital age that their first response to trouble is to be the first to post it online.

There are a lot of things to consider and as a result a lot of different choices to be made.

What would do? Would you intervene? Would you record?

Think about it.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

One of these things is unlike the other....

So about a month ago Pepsi released an ad on police violence and protest starring Kendall Jenner. In short the ad led to a nightmare that gave several impressions. Such impressions include that a white woman is the center of attention in a world of protesting that constantly sees people of color in the cross hairs of police violence, protests are just big parties, and that everything will be fine if you offer the cops a refreshing drink.

Shortly after the beer company Heineken came up with an ad that takes a different approach. It seeks to bring together people from different walks of life in hopes of fostering some sort of communication rather than the usual form of people on different sides bickering and yelling at each other. Mind you people shared it with sniping comments at Pepsi and Kedall Jenner but let's not look at that let's look at the ad in question.

Its a noble effort and I like what they are trying to go for. Take a look at it.

They have 3 pairs of people, each on a different side of an issue. The pair don't know each other and start by working together on a building project to put together a bar. They take a break during the project where they they sit and talk about their respective backgrounds. After finishing their break they go back putting the bar together. Finally they are offered drinks then are shown a short film of each person in the pair giving their opinions on a specific topic. Here each person sees that their partner is on a different side of a major issue. In these cases the issues were transgender recognition, feminism, and climate change. And then the final challenge is presented.

Each person is given the option of staying and discussing their differences over drinks or leaving the encounter.

I wager they did this multiple times until they got three cases to put together but all three pairs shown here agree to stay and the ad ends with them starting to talk.

I'm gonna get to the point fast and say that something is fishy as fuck here.

The transgender and climate change situations are pretty cut and dry. Either you recognize transgender people as they identify or you do not (for the record I do) and you either agree that climate change is a thing or it isn't (I do).

However feminism isn't as plain and simple as this ad shows. It's presented in a manner that was meant to make it very clear which side is right and which side is wrong.

The anti feminist is a white guy and the feminist is a black woman. The anti feminist gives a generic rundown of thinking feminism is about misandry and so forth. The feminist just vaguely says she is a feminist with bold determination. The anti feminist says that women's place is to have men's children. The feminist is asked if she could be friends with someone that says women's place should be in the home and does not answer.

The anti feminist is given a few chances to give his views on feminism while the feminist is allowed to coast without saying her views on feminism.

His concerns are never addressed. Her views are never described much less challenged.

At the end of the ad he toasts with her saying, "Smash patriarchy."

Its like we are just supposed to assume that being feminist is clearly the right thing to do and if you are not then you are absolutely wrong.

What I'm getting at is that unlike transgender rights and climate change feminism is a complex issue that requires a level of nuance that can't be summed up or skipped over for the sake of a 5 minute ad. Hell you could have made that ad with 3 pairs of people with different views on feminism and it would still lack full nuance.

I hope that ads like this continue and hope that useful discussions take place as well but let's be clear.

This was only a start.

Stay Frosty!