Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Its still not done

I don't have much of a chance to see the news these days but I'm guessing that since Irene has passed most people have quit talking about it. Don't let America's short attention span fool you into think its all said and done.

In my area (Eastern NC) alone I know there are still lots of people who haven't gotten their power back yet. Some of them folks who lost literally everything. Some of them elderly. Some of them with medical conditions. Some of them who live in secluded areas. Some of them with no family that could have taken them in (or gotten them out before the hurricane hit, so don't believe the idea that the only people that stay during hurricanes are stubborn folks). These folks need help.

The last few days I've been going out and doing damage assessments, helping my local fire department doing little odds and ends, and tonight I was helping serve a shipment of Red Cross provided meals. Between that and going to work I'm worn.

Not sure how much longer we'll be at this and get everyone back on their feet so the posts are going to be coming up a bit sporadically for the near future.

So for the time being take a look at my blogroll and find something interesting to read until I return.

Monday, August 29, 2011

And so Irene has passed

Since you may not be following my Twitter stream I'll drop an update here.

The storm left our area late last night. I've spent the last two days going around helping my local fire department do property assessments. Its been pretty interesting. While there has been a lot of damage (flooding and roof damage) thankfully there haven't been that many places that were totally lost.

Crews have started to come in and most roads are clear. The big worry now is that power has been out since Friday night (two days as of writing this). We could be looking at not getting power back for at least next few days. I'm actually holed up at the local fire station where we have a generator going. Had a crew of fire fighters come in from High Point. Much love to High Point.

Hopefully my own house only suffered minor damage (some ceiling and roof damage and some siding was ripped off). As soon as power is restored I'll head back in and pick up where I left off. And now for the messed up part.

As far as I can tell so far there is no word on bringing supplies into the area. Okay I understand that there was an evacuation order but its pretty callous to just act like everyone had the ability to leave the area. Also there are people who have medical needs (namely people who need O2 tanks, remember most O2 tanks need power and we don't have power).

But in short I'm alive, my house is mostly intact, and loss off life has been minimal. Got to go back to the grind tomorrow.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Tweeting with Irene

I'm tweeting when I can about the storm. Look for the link to the right of the main page to my Twitter page. I'm posting from my phone since power went out hours ago. Take it easy.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Feel the storm? Its coming.

No matter where you live you have sort of natural disaster that lurks in the shadows and could strike at any moment. Here the natural disaster of choice is the hurricane. A wild and unpredictable mix of wind and rain the hurricane brings forth great vengeance and furious anger, resulting in winds that can rip a tree from the ground, flood waters that can take houses away, and chaos that can confuse even veteran emergency personnel. While I admit I was talking smack about hurricanes yesterday even I know when to get serious and respect them And this is one of those times.

That there is a screen shot of hurricane Irene's expected trajectory as of about 8:45pm tonight. Notice the main orange line that runs through the trajectory. Then notice the yellow dot off to the side. I live right around that dot. See the issue?

This might get ugly. I'm preparing to hunker down get my defenses up, which is kinda ironic. I always used to get mad at people who refuse to leave even in the face of almost certain death and ruin. Maybe I finally understand why they refuse to leave. This is where I live. This is where I exist. This is my home. If its to be swept away then I'll be here to see it off, even it takes me with it.

More than likely the power will go out and internet will be lost. I'll try to find a way to let people know how it all went down (because frankly unless the whole damn town gets wiped out no one will care, the media will look at Pitt county then skip us and go check on the Outer Banks). Hell depending on how I hold up I may very well have an on sight exclusive on the coverage of the damage.

So until we cross paths again this is Danny's Corner signing off.

May the Force be with us.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Trash talking as only Americans can...

So today we had a 5.9 quake hit in Virginia today. Pretty unexpected and the Pentagon was even evacuated I hear. Well in the ongoing tradition of smack talking over natural disasters that are mostly regional it seems that some folks on the west coast want to talk trash because we got caught by a "only a 5.9".

Fair enough. We got caught.

So how exactly would folks on the west coast handle a Category 2 hurricane just tearing over their neighborhood for a day or two?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 64

In an effort to build up the Ethecofem community into a place where any walk of life will feel welcome to come and discuss things we are looking for another regular contributor, preferably of the female persuasion to balance things out a bit, but anyone interested is welcome. We like a variety of viewpoints, experiences, and perspectives. And as always she is on the eternal lookout for guest bloggers as well. If you're interested drop a line at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com.

Support the 45,000 Verizon strikers!: Daisy taking it to the street in support Verizon employees.

Black Mother, Black Woman: "But it appears that women, unlike men, are shown an insurmountable amount of leniency when it comes to negating their parental duties. Or at least that’s what Assistant Director of Child Support Division, Angela Anton, professes. “Instead of being deadbeats, mothers are more dead broke from the economy and are having issues with drugs and alcohol.”"

Cops: Neighbor chases kidnapper, saves child: Have I finally gotten just a bit too cynical or is it odd that the article leads off with saying that the kidnapper was a man but didn't mention that the hero was a man until almost halfway through?

Raccoon Knocks Out Power...And Survives: I guess this raccoon was only struck by lightning 66 times. (Props to whoever gets that reference and mad props to anyone that can find me a clip of it.)

Free computer science courses, new teaching technology reinvent online education: Even though it won't count towards any certificate/degree I really like this idea and am seriously considering taking one.

Single-player only games gone in three years says veteran designer: Considering that broadband penetration is lacking I think this might be a bit premature.

I'm sorry but your prince is in another castle.

Sex bias claims by men rise: "She said complaints relating to dress codes were less common but an increasing number of men were complaining they were denied admittance to clubs and pubs for wearing flashy jewellery despite their bejewelled female companions being allowed entry." Odd. (Fro tip to

Mother gets probation in home circumcision: Remember Keemonta Peterson? The woman that tried to circumcise her son based on reading The Bible and watching Youtube videos? Yeah she got sentenced to five years probation. May have something to do with the judge telling her, "Multnomah County Circuit Judge Eric Bergstrom told Peterson on Monday that "the reality is you love your children and had absolutely no intent to harm your child." Yeah.

Sperm-donor dad off birth certificate: That's an awful way to treat a dad that's been an active part in a child's life. And if you're thinking of saying something to the effect of "but his name on the certificate shouldn't matter" please explain why the bio-mom's ex-partner went to court to get the birth certificate changed.

It’s Final; John Wyatt Will Never See His Daughter: Its amazing that in this day and age where people go on and on about "the best interests of the children" people are so ready to let stuff like this happen. Here we had a ready, willing, and able man that wanted to be a father. But no the mother decided not only that she didn't want to raise the child but also decided that he should have to part in the child's life. People would be tripping over themselves to call him a deadbeat if he rant out on her. So what do you call a woman that literally sneaks off and puts a child up for adoption rather than giving the father a chance to raise the child? And another thing. Speaking of "best interests of the children" I wonder how many children in Utah (yes the two live in Virginia but she apparently had to go to Utah for an adoption agency...) need a good home, a good home that that adoptive family could have provided. Plain and simple that agency is more interested in other things than the children they are supposed to be looking out for.

A Dose of Stupid v.52: And yet and still feminists cream their undergarments in joy over manboobz like he's even greater than sliced bread (that's a one up on the phrase "best thing since sliced bread").

College Rape Accusations and the Presumption of Male Guilt: "OCR's new interpretation of Title IX "strongly discourages" universities from permitting the accused "to question or cross-examine the accuser" during the hearing. In addition, if universities provide an appeals process, it must be available to both parties—which subjects the accused to double jeopardy."

Bachelor Pad: Let’s All Throw Eggs At The Ugly Girl!: More proof why I really, really, really, can't stand reality television. Although I do have to admit that such treatment is a reflection of reality. Damn humanity if f'd up.

Patricia Overberg dies: "Patricia Overberg, the first known domestic violence shelter director in the United States to help male victims along with female victims, passed away today (August 11, 2011). Patricia is being honored by men’s rights activists as a hero and civil rights pioneer, similar to the shelter director Erin Pizzey in England."

A little something I've been digging this week.

Have anything to share?

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Savages and dirty hippies

Borrowed from Renee.


(The two pics above are of a new ad campaign cosmetic maker Nivea is launching at men, call "Look Like You Give A Damn". The pic on the left is of a black man with a close hair cut playing basketball with what looks like his head with with an afro with the message, "Re-Civilize Yourself". On the right is an ad of a white guy in a suit with short hair holding what looks like his his own head with has a bushy beard and long hair with the message, "Sin City isn't an excuse to look like hell.")

I'm gonna keep this short (I have a lot of stuff on my plate this week.)

Renee gave some good commentary on the racist implications of the ad with the black man, namely this:
The afro is threatening simply because it is a product of the Black love movement that began in the 60's. During that time, wearing a gravity defying afro was considered a symbol of embracing Blackness and a pride in being Black.
In addition to that I'd also say that the implication that an afro is uncivilized is also a jab at the idea that such hair is an indication of being "wild and savage".

Someone linked the ad with the the white guy in it in Renee's comments and I have to say something about that. I'm not even white but when I read that message ("Sin City isn't an excuse to look like hell.") I thought "White Devil" and "Dirty Hippie". As we all know all white men are evil and hippies are dirty right?

Not only are there racial implications but there are also male implications here as well and that's what I want to touch on a bit.

You see as men we have our expectations of what we have to look like in order to be taken seriously. As those ads imply a black guy with an afro is uncivilized and a white guy with a long beard is dirty. Bullshit. My afro and I get along just fine (in fact I'm due to wash it tomorrow, I may FINALLY have it to the point where I only need to wash it once a week but I'll get back to that later). The husband of one of my coworkers has a beard that would make Santa jealous and he's a well loved preacher. Why in the world are people still so wrapped up in one's appearance as a measure of their character?

I can understand that a man needs to manage his hair. Like making sure its clean, and by that I only mean clean in the literal sense of making sure its not got food in it or keep it clear of things like lice or not smelling (but I'm flexible on that one). But that's pretty much it. Acting as if having a beard or long hair or afro that some would call scruffy is an indicator that said man is not good at his job or not a good dating prospect or not trustworthy to do business with? Nonsense.

While I can appreciate advertising these products to men that want to keep their hair the way they like it I really don't like the idea of these products being advertised to us as if we need them in order to be accepted in society. So we won't be looked upon as untrustworthy "savages and dirty hippies". A man should be free to keep his hair the way he pleases.

It would seem that it is time to ante up. Here's the comment I made. (Remember to choose Complaints/Promotions.)

I've seen two ads in your latest "Look Like You Give A Damn" campaign and I must say that while your hearts were in the right place they come off as offensive to men and as racist.

In one ad you have a black man with a close hair cut holding what looks like his head, which has an afro, like a basketball with the message "Re-civilize yourself". In another you have a white man with short hair holding what looks like his head, which has long hair and a large beard, with the message "Sin City is no excuse to look like hell".

As man I have to say that these ads give the implication that in order to be considered acceptable (rather than a savage or white devil, I'm sure you can tell which is which) we must use your products. This type of advertising comes off as an attempt to make us dependent on your product and customers do not deserve to be treated in such a manner.

I sincerely hope you will reconsider the use of these two ads in your campaign.

Thank you for your time.

Friday, August 19, 2011

My Fellow American

Last week (and shamefully I've been so busy I've not been able to sit down and take a look at this sooner) I received an email informing me about a social media project and film known as "My Fellow American".

As you know a few weeks ago Anders Breivik committed heinous acts of violence in Oslo, Norway in which he killed dozens of people. In a manifesto of his thoughts he showed very clear anti-Muslism sentiment (and also seemed to regard those who held no ill will towards Muslims as traitor). What Breivik was a terrible thing and the world (especially Muslims) need to know that his hatred is not way we think of them. And it looks like My Fellow American is working on just that. From the "About" page:
My Fellow American is an online film and social media project that calls upon concerned Americans to pledge and spread a message that Muslims are our fellow Americans. It asks people of other backgrounds to pledge, and share a real life story about a Muslim friend, neighbor, or colleague that they admire. Using the power of social media, My Fellow American seeks to change the narrative – from Muslims as the other, to Muslims as our fellow Americans.

Most Americans have never met an American Muslim. Many only know Muslims through the way they are portrayed in the media. American Muslims are so often vilified as “the other” that it is possible not to recognize that most were born in the U.S. Or that those who immigrated here came seeking the same freedoms and opportunities that have always attracted people to America.

Just like the many other walks of life that live in America Muslims are no different. The live here, they work here, they pray here, they play here, they raise families here. There is no reason for them to deserve such racist and anti-religious treatment.

The site encourages people to share stories and videos of their experiences with Muslim people. This is a short from their homepage.

I'm still working my way through the site and I hope you take a moment to check it out as well. They are people like the rest of us and they are American like the rest of us.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

My thoughts on Schrodinger's Rapist, now with clarity

So last night I did a post on a Schrodinger's Rapist thread over at No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz. If you tried to read it I'm sorry for the pain I put you through. Well I had some time today and I refined it a bit. While I still have a problem with the application of such assessments (more accurately I have a problem with the way people are selective about when such assessments are okay and when they are not) my main problem is with the naming of the theory. Here goes (but bear in mind I'm posting this under the presumption you tried valiantly to read that post from last night).

(On a quick side note I'm finding it interesting that for as long and as rigoroustly Schrodinger's Rapist was defended all of a sudden there are people over at NAWATM asking, "okay someone's critiqued it, can we just please move on now?".)

My problem with SR isn't that women don't have a right to assess risk. That's not fair. No my problem is the naming of the theory (on a small note the fairness behind the application of the theory.)

As for the naming as Xakudo has said the original Schrodinger's Cat was about starting off with what we know to be a cat and then assessing if the cat was dead/alive. By simply swapping a cat for rapist that means we are starting off with what we know to be a rapist. If this is an assessment that women use about men doesn't that mean the assessment is starting off calling that man a rapist and then assessing the risk of that rapist attacking you? AB has said its assessment of all risk and that sexual risk is the greatest risk of all. Okay if that's the case then how are you assessing other risks if you start off with a rapist and then assess if that rapist will attack you? (I highly doubt that once rapist pops into your mind you're going to be thinking about getting mugged.) If this is supposed to be an assessment of if a man is dangerous then it would seem to me that the true analog to the original cat would man. As in the only true way to make "is this man safe/dangerous?" analagous to "is this cat alive/dead?" is to name the theory Schroginger's Man.

Well because I'm a bit of a skeptic I have to wonder if this came up when the person who came up with SR (wasn't it Kate Harding?). If so did they change it from Man to Rapist out of fear of it coming off as generalizing of men, ultimately inadvertenly doing just that by naming it in a manner that starts the assessment off with the man being a rapist. Or did they know all this from the start and knowingly named it SR?

With the application there still seems to be a double standard being practiced by some of the defenders of this theory about who is making the assessment of who for what reasons.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

How about Shrodinger's Bad Man?

You are about to go on a short journey through my head and witness a thought process. I think its only fair I give you something to calm your nerves before we begin. Trust me on this. I think Engelorum by Vernian Process will do (you may just want to open that in separate tab and just restart it every few minutes as you read it).

So the folks at No Seriously, What About Teh Menz? have brought out Schrodinger's Rapist once again. Well I've never been much of a fan of that concept. Hear me out.

Its not that I think women are somehow wrong to have some amount of fear about men. Of course different people have different experiences so it wouldn't be right to tell someone whose gone through circumstances that would cause such that they are wrong. Its not that at all. My questions revolve around the naming and application of the theory.

I'm no high end physicist but from what I can gather about Shrodinger's Cat is that its about the theoretical existence of a cat when taking several variables into consideration. So when you say Shrodinger's Rapist I'm thinking that its about the theoretical existence of a rapist. Now some people think that that means that this means a generalization of all men as either rapists or potential rapists or rapists in waiting. I'm of the mind of thinking potential rapists in that respect. As in any man may be a rapist and that a woman needs to be mindful of that and act accordingly. And if guys don't like it then well tough. Makes sense but something doesn't quite gel for me. Bear with me for a bit.

A white person thinks any black person may attack them and they must act accordingly. And if any black people doesn't like it well tough.

A rich person thinks any homeless person may attack them and they must act accordingly. And if any homeless person doesn't like it well tough.

A Christian person thinks any Muslim person may attack them and they must act accordingly. And if any Muslim person doesn't like it well tough.

I'm willing to bet that a lot of the same people that would defend and agree with Shrodinger's Rapist would then turn around and call Shrodinger's Black Person, Schrodinger's Homeless Person, and Schrodinger's Muslim for the the raicsm, classism, and Islamophobia that they are.

Well someone by the name of AB addresses this:
Because part of the social assessment you’re making (and the part the article is focussed on) is an assessment of risk. For most women, a large part of the aggression the will experience directed at them (especially from men) is sexual in nature, so that’s what they’re most wary about, and what will take up the biggest part of their risk assessment in regards to men.
Okay but…

Schrödinger’s Rapist is not about concluding whether or not men are rapists, it is about making an assessment of which men are the most safe, in order to decrease one’s general risk of being the victim of sexual violence. Sometimes people make mistakes in their assessments, but it is rarely done out of malice or bigotry.
Explained that way I'm willing to lend a bit more credibility to it. However I still wonder something.

If its not about concluding whether or not men are rapists but an assessment of all risks then why not an all encompassing name like Schrodinger's Bad Man? I really don't blame anyone for thinking that Schrodinger's Rapist is only taking sexual risk into account because its quite literally the only risk that is in the name of the theory because again going back to the cat who is the namesake I thought the original theory was about the existence of a cat. Sure you can say that literally any object could be placed in for cat and the theory would still stand but Schrodinger's Rapist does not have the issue of being able to place literally any object in place of Rapist. If what AB says is true (and of course AB is not the official Defender of Schrodinger's Rapist) the specific scope here is risk assessment of men. If that's the case then why not use an all encompassing term when one can be used? I can't blame the originators of SC using a cat since they were talking about any object. But with SR its supposed to be about risk and there are many ways to name it in order to include all forms of risk. Schrodiger's Risk, Schrodinger's Risky Man, Schrodinger's Assessment?

Truthfully this leads to me losing some faith in the theory of SR. I'm now wondering if Rapist was used for some reason other than it being the greatest male to female risk. I'm thinking malice, bigotry, and/or shock value.

And now I see that Xakudo has chimed in the use of the Schrodinger as well:
My favorite thing about the Schrodinger’s Rapist article is the misuse of the title. With Schrodinger’s cat there was no question whether it was a cat or not, just a question of whether or not it was dead. So to use the concept properly, Schrodinger’s rapist would be a confirmed rapist whose dead-ness/alive-ness you could not readily determine. Perhaps a rapist zombie of sorts, but more quantum.
I think this is worth considering. As I said above our dear cat could have easily been replaced with any other object (and in the event we're talking about something that's not alive would can change alive/dead to intact/destroyed) but whatever you replace it with there is no question that that is what is is. Dog, snail, coffee table, etc... Its set in stone that we are talking about a cat and the theory is whether or not the cat is dead/alive (which I think pretty much crushes a lot of what I said near the beginning of the post but I'm gonna leave it there for the thought process. I know. Let's try to put what AB and Xakudo have said together.

Xakudo says there's no question its cat. I take that to translate into there being no question we're talking about a man. So wouldn't that mean we need to call this Schrodinger's Man?

AB says we are assessing the risk of a man. I take that to translate into assessing if the man is safe/dangerous. So wouldn't that go inline with assessing if the cat is dead/alive?

AB says it was an assessment of all risks and that sex was just the greatest.

So does that mean that the so called Schrodinger's Man is a theoretical assessment of whether or not a man is safe/dangerous, with being safe/dangerous in a sexual manner being the biggest risk? In the end does this mean that Schrodinger's Man is a risk assessment of a man being safe/dangerous in all manners but is then renamed Schrodinger's Rapist because its the biggest risk? Well if that risk is so big that it warrants becoming the default name above all other risks how does this not play out as, "Is this guy dangerous? Is he going to sexually attack me? Is he going to rob me? Is he going to catcall me? etc..." Rape may not be the only thought in mind during that assessment but its the main thing (again so main that it becomes the name of the assessment).

And there's still the matter of how this assessment is supposedly okay to use on some people but not others (and it doesn't help that some of the people that are using it are then turning around and saying that it wouldn't be right to use on them).

I told you this was not going to be an easy ride.

So what are your thoughts on the concept of Schrodinger's Rapist? I'm sure you're heard it before you read this post and I'm betting you have some choice words about it. By all means share. Just please be polite about it.

Monday, August 15, 2011

What a rip (from the headlines)

We all knew it was coming and we all knew correctly.

This coming season of Law and Order: SVU will be airing an episode based on the (in)famous Dominique Strauss-Kahn case.

I've said before that SVU is one of the most messed up shows on TV today. Its one of those shows that manages to offend pretty much every walk of life. I can't wait to see how they sensationalize or bastardize this...

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 63

How do you do?

In an effort to build up the Ethecofem community into a place where any walk of life will feel welcome to come and discuss things we are looking for another regular contributor, preferably of the female persuasion to balance things out a bit, but anyone interested is welcome. We like a variety of viewpoints, experiences, and perspectives. And as always she is on the eternal lookout for guest bloggers as well (in fact this week we got a good guest post by web developer/political activist Thomas Dufour). If you're interested drop a line at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com.

London Riots Linked to Boy Troubles?: There might be. I recall a few days ago on NPR where they made it a point to say that most of the rioters were young men (which is often par for the course, highlight male perps and female victims, pretend others don't exist).

The woman in the Elvis photo: mystery solved!: Great. So when will she get her own reality show?

Iran foreign minister says hopes U.S. "hikers" will be freed: Am I the only that noticed once that woman hiker was released this story kinda just faded to the wayside?

Is Technology Making Everyone You Work with a Dick?: Funny how its okay to associate jerk like behavior with male genitalia. Funnier still how the sample photo of two people who (likely) don't even have dicks...

This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field: That is fucking disgusting. Seriously someone has to clean that place up the next day.

Researchers: Anonymous and LulzSec need to focus their chaos: I agree. These folks could take a lesson from The Laughing Man.

New Material for Fast Rebuilding After Disasters: A new building material that could spell fast relief in disaster and emergency situations.

Boosting the bottom line: Beach volleyball stars to rent out advertising space on their bikini-clad behinds: This doesn't even make sense from a technology angel. Its going to be a hard time trying to scan those codes during a match. Even pausing your DVR may not help.

Happy Birthday Samus!!!

Larry David, Feminist Hero?: "In other instances when most men could only think Sex! Sex! Sex!, Larry is able to resist the temptation of highly objectified women. Take the time Larry goes to the Playboy Mansion in season 5. When he walks in, all the topless bunnies go running. Does Larry care? Naahhh. He is more interested in comparing smoking jackets with Hugh Hefner. Larry gets caught watching porn in season 1. Did he put it on to get aroused? Nope. He just happened to know the guy in it. The girl-on-girl scene seems to do nothing for him."

So part of being a feminist is not paying attention to topless women (as of paying attention to topless women is inherently bad) and not being aroused by porn (bonus if you aren't aroused by girl on girl)? Riiiight.

Colombia coach hits woman in Bogota bar: Why is it that in this society in which crime is supposed to be treated with equal seriousness when a woman is attacked people call for blood in a way they never would on male on male violence? It may happen more often but that doesn't mean that a crime against certain people should suddenly up the ante on the punishment. And while it looks like this attack is not alleged but actually happened beyond any doubt have you ever noticed that (at least in the States) whenever a man is accused of violence against a woman people instantly start calling for his resignation or termination? No conviction, just accusation.

For when you're in space and no one can hear you scream. Enjoy.

I'm out!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Fourth question about porn

You know when I first started asking these questions I really didn't have an idea of what to do after the third one. Well thanks to Easily Enthused I now have a fourth one.

From part 3:
Without revealing too much - I want to point to two instances in my life that formed my tastes. I am very, very vanilla. I have no desire to be submissive or dominant - and I prefer the act to be like a dance between people.
However, I have a strong attraction to red heads with freckles and fair skin. I didn't know it when I first developed this attraction, but later I was flipping through an old photo album and saw a picture of my babysitter at age 2-4 - red hair, freckles, fair skin and slightly overweight. I don't remember her myself, but my parents told me that I loved being watched by her, and would often fall asleep on her chest after getting a bath from her. Read into that what you may.
What this is is EE questioning the idea of how our past experiences MAY play a part in our current sexuality with an example of his own. I added my own:
In fact I took a few free moments today to think about my preference of older/old women. As a kid I spent a lot of time around my grandmothers (as in my parents are at work and I would be at my grandmother's house til they got off). When I was doing the whole "horny teenage boy" thing I actually spent more time checking out the teachers than the girls my age. And even to this day I'm more likely to check out older/old women then women my own age (I'm 30 BTW).
And here is today's question.

Would you like to share any childhood/pre-sexual experiences that they think influenced their adult predispositions?

A few things.

1. While this rose out of sex and porn you aren't limited to that (I'm curious about other behaviors that sexual ones).

2. Please bear in mind that I AM NOT trying to say that there is a definite link between past experience and current tastes. I'm just letting my curiosity run free for a bit.

2a. So while I'm not trying to make that link I please ask that we keep this limited to sharing past experiences and current behavior. I don't want this to descend into arguing over whether said theory about such a link is true or not.

3. By all means you can share your experience anonymously if you wish. My commenting software allows for anonymous comments (you just have to put in some sort of handle, you can't leave it blank). So if you value your anonymity make sure you put in some other handle (and make sure you aren't logged into you Echo account when you do it.

This may turn out to be fun.

Third question about porn

Alright now that part 2 has been up for a while I'll share the answers I got.

From Clarrisa:
The nature of one's sexual preference is not ideological. It's just sexual preference. There are people who are into BDSM or sex with sexually innocent partners or the golden shower or sexual defecation or a facial or anything else. Such a genuine sexual preference doesn't "mean" anything about them and doesn't characterize them as human beings. It's just what they are into sexually. If they can find a consenting partner (or many partners), that's great.
(That's not her entire answer go back to the post for the entire thing.)

From profacero:
Consider *enthusiastic* consent, not the *OK, OK, I'll let you do this just so we can then move on* type of "consent".

On the question of whether it is possible to map fantasies to personalities, I'll buck current dogma and say yes ... just not in a simplistic way.

From James:
To me, it would depend on how that man approached the woman about it. If he just...did it, or if he pressured her to do it, then yes, it's absolutely degrading. If he asks and she agrees without much thought, then it's really up to her. I kinda find it wrong for us to decide what's degrading for other people.

From April:
A sexual proclivity is only disrespectful if it does not involve consent or personal consideration for the wishes of the sexual partner(s). If a woman wants a guy to ejaculate on her face, I can't see why anyone could justify challenging that desire... assuming it is really a desire of hers, of course. On the other hand, I also see aboslutely no problem with a person agreeing to certain sexual activities that s/he may not be 100% enthusiastic about themeslves, for the sole purpose of doing something to please their partner.
(Like Clarissa this is only a portion of her entire answer.)

So on to the next question.

Why are people so hung up and hell bent on trying to use someone's (especially men's) sexual proclivities as an indicator of their personality?

As in why is there a leap from "he likes to give women facials" to "why does he want to do that to women? there MUST be something at work in his mind that indicates a lack of respect for women.".

I'll admit I myself find the idea interesting and would like to try it one day. Yes it is something I've seen in the porn I've seen in my day. Yeah part of it is a desire to assert control and dominance in a sexual setting. Is there something wrong with the idea of wanting to assert dominance in a sexual setting? I don't think there is but a lot of people do seem to think that wanting to try something they saw on a porno is an inherently bad thing (well that seems to be the case when its something that men are doing or wanting to do).

I guess what I'm getting at is that even though sex is something that is close and intimate people seem to go a bit too far with trying to use sex as an indication of a person's being. Yeah I'd like to try giving a woman (or a man for that matter) a facial one day and its something I first saw watching porn. Does that mean that I MUST harbor some sort of ill will towards women (yeah noticed that did you?)?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Eagle33, you rock

If it wasn't for the fact that I've had interactions like this before I might actually be offended by it. But I have had interactions like that before so I can really appreciate it. Check this comment out I just saw at Feminist Critics.

To add to this, there’s a contradiction within a contradiction that’ll make your mind twist into a pretzel.

Spokesperson: Feminism is not a monolith. There are diverse views.

Person: What about Mary Daly?

Spokesperson: She’s not a feminist. What she practices isn’t feminism.

Person: But you just said feminism isn’t a monolith and it contains diverse viewpoints. Mary Daly has a viewpoint, she’s a feminist.

Spokesperson: She may have a diverse viewpoint but it’s not feminism.

Person: You just said feminism isn’t a monolith.

Spokesperson: It’s not.

Person: So she’s a feminist.

Spokesperson: No, she’s not.

Person: But feminism has diverse viewpoints.

Spokesperson: Yes, I just told you.

Person: Mary Daly—

Spokesperson: Look, educate yourself okay? Leave me alone.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Shyness vs. Introversion

I had a dentist appointment today ("Day off work" Yeah!!!! "200mi. roundtrip" Boo!!!) and had the rare chance for some extensive listening to NPR, specifically the Diane Rehm Show. She spent the first hour of her show talking about the recent killing of 30 American troops and 8 Afghan troops that were aboard a Chinnok chopper. Its the second half of the show that really caught my ear.

During the second half her panel of guests had a discussion on anxiety, shyness, introversion, how they shouldn't be pathologized as they are in society today, and how they can even be beneficial to some extent. I was hooked when they broke down the difference between shyness and introversion.

From what I gather they were saying that shyness is more based around a lack of speaking up or being outgoing for fear of negative reaction or lack of approval while introversion is just a personality trait that involves a limited desire for interaction. One can be easily mistaken for the other (and let's be honest a lot of people use them interchangeably as if we were talking about the terms six and half a dozen) but they really aren't the same thing.

The segment is about an hour long (and Diane had to call time at the end, it was a pretty interesting discussion but alas time is limited) but I think its worth a listen especially if you could use a reminder of the difference between the two. There is a "Listen" link right under the "Home" button on the page I linked above.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Despite the fact that we know better...

Its pretty well established that men can and do develop breast cancer.

So how can a man be denied admission to a state (South Carolina BTW) program that provides medicaid for breast cancer patients because he's a man?

Weekly Mashup 62

Hiya! Looks like I forgot to actually put up last week's Weekly Mashup. So I'll mix it up with my stuff from this week.

Is A Law That Allows Women To Run Background Checks On Men Fair?: Make it gender neutral and then we'll talk. Until this its a sexist double standard and despite this blogger's dismissal of MRAs I'd frankly stand with any MRA that would oppose this.

Woman Kills Disabled Daughter, Attempts Suicide: This is just terrible.

Woman causes permanent brain damage in infant: 2 years. Kills baby: 4 years. Man possesses photos: priceless (40 years): Damn.

Nintendo 3DS price drops from $249 to $169 August 12th: I have to admit that the 3DS really caught my eye. But that original $249 price tag was just too steep. First that is way too much for a hand held and two that's actually $50 higher than the current Nintendo console (The Wii). That's outrageous.

Dangling fake testicles get woman in trouble: You know I recall some feminist site whining about truck nuts a while back. Have to admit that I almost laughed at the fact that it was a woman that was getting in trouble over them.

Bush explains 9/11 classroom reaction: Say what you want about Bush but I frankly like the way he kept his reaction in check that day for the sake of the kids in that classroom.

South Carolina Governor Rejects NAACP Push to Remove Confederate Flag: I've said it once and I'll say it again. They lost. So what?

On Fat and Spectra: "Yet, one consequence of claiming umbrella identities can be a collapsing of identities beneath that umbrella, a lack of recognition of the fact that people living under that umbrella may, in fact, have very different lived experiences, and may navigate their identities very, very differently."

Daughter taken from dad at airport: I dare you to say that if the dad had done this it would have gone under the radar like this.

Anti-gay stigma sparks rise in black male HIV rates: "While we should take pride in what has been achieved -- progress remains fragile. HIV infections are stable among blacks overall and among black women, but among our young black gay and bisexual men, they are increasing. Black gay and bisexual men of all ages account for 73 percent of new infections among black men, and the latest statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveal that the burden of HIV is growing among some of the youngest members of our community."

Guatemalan Soldiers Sentenced to 6,060 Years for Massacre: "Three former special forces soldiers were sentenced to 6,060 years in prison each on Tuesday, for the 1982 massacre of 201 men, women, and children during the height of Guatemala's civil war." (I'm glad to see that these war criminals were punished but I can't help but notice that as usual despite the gender divide a special moment is taken to point out that women and girls were raped, I guess the men and boys were just killed but that's not important I guess.)

Let’s Invent A Catchy New Word For Feminism: So does that me we can use the Merriam-Webster definition of sexism too?

When's the last time you looked at the inside of your pc?

Next Week!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Fool, she is no man.

So I'm taking a study break and watching Lord of The Rings in tv (TNT seems to play the trilogy about once a month) and I can't think about these movies without thinking about this scene.

I can't possibly be the only one that thinks the site of Miranda Otto (the actor that plays Eowyn, niece of King Theoden) killing the Witch King of Agamar, a creature so bad ass he whipped Gandalf's ass, is extremely hot? Like if she wanted to should have her way with me after seeing her do that hot.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Should a rape victim have to pay child support?

(I'm talking about rape here. Tread carefully.)

I'm in the final stages of studying for a certification exam (tomorrow morning at 11a) but I didn't want this to get lost in my Weekly Mashup.

Kris Bucher is being held up for child support. However he says that he was raped by the mother of the child and should therefore not be held responsible for child support.

Alright we've seen cases before where under aged boys were held up for support of children they had with adult women. Or even worse sometimes said under aged boy's parents would be held responsible to pay it (can you imagine being ordered by a court to pay child support to a woman that statutorily raped your son?). In this case though Kris is saying that the age difference is not the issue (and I'm inclined to agree since he was 17 and she was 18 at the time of conception) but rather that he said no to the sexual encounter that conceived the child.

As a quick reference I've laid out before that a woman can rape a man, so there is no need to try to question that.

The hard part to think about is was he raped (he never pressed charges) and should he be held responsible for supporting a child that was conceived through rape?

I think its pretty obvious that if the genders were reversed and we were talking about a man raping a woman, getting custody, then trying to hold her accountable for child support most people would realize that that would fail as soon as the child was born because who would let a man that raped a woman keep custody of a child that was produced by rape (about the only way I can think of that working is if the fact that it was rape never came up).

Another thing to bear in mind is that so far this is an alleged rape. So there's no conviction to point to.

The best I can say is the outcome of holding him responsible for child support would have to depend on her being put on trial for rape and being found guilty or not guilty. But that's going to be a tough road considering that most people simply don't take rape seriously and even then most of those same people don't even acknowledge that female against male rape can even happen.

Oh and one more thing. Why is she asking for child support when she's already got another guy in her life? And it doesn't help that Kris himself is married to someone else and has become a step dad of two.

So what do you think?

Edit: Clarissa has posted her take on the matter.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm keeping a running tab...

If there is one thing that movies, tv, video games, anime, and politics have taught its that there are people in this world who have no problem using tragedy to push their agenda. And I get the feeling that the recent terror attacks in Norway will be no different.

In case you don't know last week a man by the of Anders Breivik bombed a building and went on a shooting spree at a youth camp. As a result nearly 100 have had their lives taken by this extremist. Something this big will not pass without people trying to get their agenda pushing jollies off. Let's see.

Anders Breivik, Anti-Feminist MRA?: Hugo Schwyzer hits the ground running with a two hit combo by saying that Breivik was targeting feminism with his shooting spree and then jabbing at MRAs by trying to liken him to their movement.

And Here Comes The Video Game Backlash Due To The Norway Tragedy: Techdirt reporting on a few spots where people are quickly trying to attribute these attacks to the fact that Breivik played video games.

I get the feeling that these won't be the only attention grabs from this. Have you seen any that you want to share?


Ah it looks like David Futrelle is getting in on it too. Don't be fooled by his mention of Muslims in his first line, which he tries to use to shut down Toy Soldier who called him on it. Throughout the post he mentions Ismlam 4 times, Muslim 4 times, Feminist 9 times, and Feminism 7 time. Don't be fooled he made damn sure to pick his ammo carefully. Oh and also follows in Hugo's steps in trying to link him to MRAs. Nevermind that Mala Fide called him a madman that needs to be punished to the full extent of the law. As far as I can tell Spearhead hasn't said anything on it yet. Checked out a Mensrights reddit and there's clashing sides (mind you I don't like the idea of race neutral but the point at hand here is that there are those that are cheering for it and others denouncing it). Pelle Billing has said anything on it. The last time I looked at A Voice For Men (last night, for some reason I can't pull it up now) they've not said anything.

Fro tip to Toy Soldier.

Not surprising to see it at Shakesville. But I am surprised I didn't see it here first.

I'll admit that I haven't done any special hunting for these links. They are just links I've found in my regular everyday surfing.

You sick vultures can you at least take enough time to acknowledge that nearly 100 people are dead before you start trying to figure out how you can twist such a horrible act of terrorism to your own advantage?

(Also I'm redating this so that it can stay at the top of my page for a while longer.)