Wednesday, August 30, 2017

So much insecurity over such a minor picture....

I know I'm a little late on this one (and look forward to more late thoughts on recent events including the Google Memo and the protest in Charlottesville) but its been swirling in my head for a while and just won't go away so here goes.

So recently Ashley Carman of The Verge expressed her confusion and dismay over her boyfriend liking an Instagram photo of a woman showing off her ass.

One question she asks is, "Is he so un-evolved that he can’t resist the allure of a butt pic?"

Well yeah that's a great way to have a conversation to gain understanding. Just insult the guy and I'm sure everything will change to just the way she likes it and her boyfriend will simply stop liking bikini booty pics.

So after deciding that her method of saving likes for, "...for people I know IRL and who I figure would derive joy out of the fact that I liked their photo." is so superior and not understanding why her boyfriend isn't evolved enough to do what she does she moves on to asking some colleagues about it.

She gets commentary from several of them but I think the ending of Kaitlyn's comment is a big clue.
"That said, your boyfriend liking this pic is a little weird, but mostly because he’s a boy. I don’t feel it’s too controversial for me to say that the rules of “Instagram creeping” are slightly different for me, a girl."
I think she has a good point. If a guy likes a pic of a woman on social media there is a tendency to assume absolute worst faith. And honestly this difference in rules is probably at the core of Ashley's supposed "confusion and dismay". She wants to hold him to a different standard because he's a guy but directly admitting it would be sexist and she wants to avoid that.

But I think Zainab really hits it home by admitting to what seems to be plain old fashioned jealousy.
I find it so Neanderthal-esque that men can’t help but have their fingers slip and double tap a big, almost naked butt. The entire concept of my boyfriend, or boyfriends in general, following random “fitness” girls and models they'll never meet irks me. When they throw them a like is when it reaches another level of dumb for me. Not because I feel threatened, but because it’s such a simple thing to not do when you have a beautiful girl right in front of you!
Yeah she doesn't feel threatened at all she just like to insult men for liking a pic, getting angry over it, and then going on about how its wrong to do it when there is a beautiful girl right in front of them.

Im gonna go ahead and say it.

Ashley is expressing a level of insecurity that if shown by a man talking about his girlfriend was liking pics of hit guys would be called all sorts of names and insults and would be dragged from one end of the net to the other over his "fragile masculinity" (which seems to be code for "Im going to insult you in order to cover up my own inadequacies).

Now that being said I don't want to follow that path and start dumping on her.

What I would like to do though is ask that if she has a problem with something her boyfriend is doing try expressing it in a manner that is not so insulting and condescending. A sure fire way to shut a guy out is start off calling him names and acting he is beneath you.

I hope Ashley gets to a place where she can openly talk about this with her boyfriend in a way that shows she is not just interested in tearing into him.