Okay so I'm just getting back into accepting that Mother's Day has any direct personal meaning to me. For the longest time it really meant nothing to me. It was just a void where I would send well wishings to the moms I know and then go on about my life. But then my mind started to wander.
Started to wander about Mother's Day and then about mothers. Sit back for a moment.
When you were younger do you recall those times when you did something that you thought was the greatest thing in the world and you just HAD to tell your mom about it?
There's the basics like jumping from a height (that you probably shouldn't have been doing), the first time you got a high grade at school, or the first time you tied your shoes all alone.
Well it hit me that there are two milestones that I never got to share with my mom before she died.
First was simply having a girlfriend. Yeah I was a bit of a late bloomer and didn't meet my first girlfriend until I was nearly 32 years old. My mom had already been dead for eight years at that point. So yeah none of the anxiousness of introducing my first girlfriend to my mom.
Second would be kids. For the longest time I've not had any interest in having kids but those feelings are changing. I remember when my mom died my brother's wife was pregnant at the time with their second child. The thing that crossed my mind was that at least their first child got to meet her. And then I realize that any kids I have will never meet their grandmother on their dad's side.
Yeah pretty morbid I know but that's just how the old brain works.
But things are not all doom and gloom anymore.
I got a great wife and a cool (if odd) step daughter. And when the day comes that we have more kids I'll do what I can to help them pick out the cheesiest gifts for as many Mother's Days as I can.