It's about something that happened after it. After (or actually during the heat of that post) I got into an email exchange where things pretty much stayed heated to say the least.
I could feel it.
I could feel that something inside of me that wanted to strike hard.
I could feel that something inside of me that wanted to strike deep.
I could feel that something inside of me that wanted to hurt the person I was exchanging with.
But I held back as best I could. There were a few things I had actually wanted to say to her that served no other purpose than to hurt her. No value in the discussion. No point in furthering understanding. Just a plain desire to know that I said something that would cut her deep.
I didn't because lashing out at her would not have just been useless but would have been downright counterproductive. Such anger would have been an offering. An offering to the Grudge.
As I have said before harsh words meant to hurt feelings are an attempt to feed that inner anger. It's an inner anger that wants to sustain itself by any means necessary. If I had said those mean and pointless things to her the only purpose it would have served would be to keep my own hatred alive (and possibly turn her away).