Wednesday, October 23, 2013

To my fellow MRAs: Justice, Not Revenge

There are a lot of people from all walks of life from all sorts of groups trying to make the world a better place for everyone. Now yes there are times when the definition of "better" is up for debate however one thing is clear. For the record while I'm still on the fence about what group I stand with I guess you could call me an MRA. I see a lot of what they are saying but at the same time I don't agree with some of the things they say.

For one (despite being a Scorpio) I know that revenge is wrong and I don't want to support. Well it seems there are MRAs out there that think otherwise. They seem to think that taking revenge will correct the ways in which men are oppressed, harmed, and mistreated.

Revenge won't level the playing field.

Revenge won't resolve the injustices.

Revenge is not better.

Case in point the Men's Business Association's own Naming and Shaming Women Services.

The voice behind the video is Peter Nolan. Its a pretty long presentation (and I haven't had a chance to watch it all) but there are some things that need to be worked out a bit here.

From what I've seen its a service that is tasking itself with reporting and posting information on women who are accused of crimes and bad behavior. Also there is something in there about promises to serve on juries. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

There is no arguing that there are women out there that engage in bad and criminal behavior and there is no arguing that women are often treated with kids gloves when they do so.

I also know that there are sentiments and attitudes that support doing what this service proposes to do to women to men.

However what this naming and shaming service is doing isn't leveling things out, its escalating them to another level. A dangerous level. This service is turning revenge (and possibly scare tactics) into a business.

And with his pitch being so dangerously seductive, it could be quite a lucrative business.

A lot of the things that Peter says are true (but nowhere near all of them). Yes there are ways in which men are mistreated and ways in which women are privileged however none of those things justify building a business model based on publicly destroying people.

Even though Nolan's service sounds like it will be keeping things legitimate (which includes doing research on claims, investigating those that sign up for the service, and collecting dues) it will only serve to drive the wedge between men and women further.

I can understand why men would want to create something like this and I understand why men would want to sign up for it. But in the end not only will not not solve the problems that men face but will actually create other problems and prove to be counter productive. It will just result in a bunch of people trying to find wants to shame others on the internet like Don't Date Him Girl and Register-Her have done before it.

What is helpful is stuff like sharing the stories of abused men and calling out Temple University who, as far as I can tell, have not reinstated a male student that was kicked off the football team, stripped of his scholarships, and expelled over rape charges that have since been dropped.

But encouraging people to strike out against women in retaliation for such mistreatment? No way.

Thankfully so far the guy appears to not have much of a following and the bit of chatter I've seen among other MRAs is that he is going off the deep end and he has gotten into conflict with Paul Elam and GirlWritesWhat.

That's not justice, that's just revenge and revenge is not going to fix the collective messes we are in.