Thursday, November 8, 2012

Once more, but not with so much feeling

A while back I did a post about music enhancing one's mood. To sum that post up what I was getting at was  that when you are in a certain mood that mood can be enhanced (for better or worse) by listening to certain types of music or a particular song.

Now that is all fine well and good. As I said in the initial post I've queued up music to help me focus on a particular emotion when working on something. There have been times where I've listened to music as an escape from reality. Times where I've listened to music to dwell on an event or person that I'd probably be better off not dwelling on.

But I think that sometimes, every once in a while, something happens. When pulling up music to go along with certain feelings and moods I think some of those feelings and moods are actually being left with that music. A power and an influence being left in that music. A transfer of meaning that if allowed to continue long enough could actually reverse the flow of emotion.

If you recall several months ago I was in a bit of despair due to thinking about how uneventful my love/sex life had been up to that point. Not finding too many people I'd want to chat up, plus being soul crushingly shy, and striking out the few times I actually built up the nerve make for a pretty lonely existence.

And before I knew it I had given that lonely existence a voice, but it wasn't quite my own.

Unable to apply my own voice it seems I simply borrowed the voice of the singer from Black Tape For A Blue Girl, namely the track "Given" (I've embedded this song at least 2-4 times here already this year, a link should do for now).

Instead of talking about the way I was feeling I just substituted someone else's voice for my own and just rode the wave of the feelings. While this was certainly an improvement over the way I was handling these feelings previously (ie, not at all) I don't think I was doing any sort of true long term healing either.

I say long term because a part of the healing process is to acknowledge how you feel on a subject, however that acknowledgement comes. The trick is to not get stuck in that acknowledgement and it gets even trickier when you consider that the thresholds for acknowledgement, stuck, and healing change from person to person.

For me personally "Given" actually did me a lot of good in terms of getting me to think about how I feel which I think is a vital part of the healing process. On the other hand I think that I was in the verge of getting stuck in those feelings which is how I ended up in the place I am now where hearing this song even when I'm in a good mood invokes the despair.

So I'm definitely not healed. Healing to be sure but I am nowhere near healed.

Let me ask:

Do you think that it is possible to listen to music for a given feeling for so long that the music gains an emotional charge that eventually allows for that music to actually change the mood of the listener? If so, do you by chance have a song that can do this to you?