Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hoping to be a mistake isn't much hope at all

I came across a pretty interesting post at emporiasexus. It was about how it may be the case that some young men, upon not having much success in the realms of dating, sex, and/or relationships will resort to thoughts as the one expressed that Superbad clip.

And this is not an isolated thing. I recall a scene in Can't Hardly Wait where a girl is crying because her boyfriend cheated on her. She decides in retaliation she will hook up with some random guy. Overhearing this one of the other characters in the movie (played by Seth Green) literally falls out of his chair with anticipation. (Here's a clip).

Or all the plotting and scheming to the guys in American Pie went through?

I'm not up to snuff on today's teen movies but I'll bet stuff like this still happens in them.

Emporiasexus makes the observation about a commentator on another site about the Slut Walks:
What he thinks, what he’s been told all his life, is that any attraction he can generate is contingent on whatever status and power he can acquire. In lieu of that, the best he thinks he can hope for is to “be that mistake”.
I'll certainly agree that one of the major points in the script of being a man is that a "real man" is supposed to have lots of sex with lots of women lest his manhood be put under question. For men to be considered sexy is to have status and power. Those without those things are deemed worthless.

Maybe this is why its so hard to find a movie in which a guy that is interested in having sex, getting into a relationship, or just going on a date does so in a manner that is not played off as a joke at the expense of the guy in question. What types of guys do we usually get in these portrayals? They're losers, geeks, dweebs, etc. They are willing to do anything and everything to reach the goal. Disasters and comedy ensure. Sure they may have some good quality about them that makes them nice to some people but on the larger scale they are deemed as worthless.

I mean even one of the better portrayals I can think of in recent memory, "The 40 Year Old Virgin" doesn't pull this off to well. Steve Carrell's character is painted up with most of the stereotypical reasons for why he hasn't had sex yet. He's into collectibles, doesn't get out much, has few friends. Well no wonder right? Sure he ended up having sex at the end of the movie but its pretty clear those things were added in as "reasons" for why he had been a virgin for so long. But I do like the fact that while he did go through some off the wall stuff he wasn't trying to get with any and every woman he could find by the end of the movie.

So is that it? Is the portrayal of guys like that limited to lifeless losers who are willing to do anything to get laid?

This is most definitely feeding into the Spiral of Despair I spoke of a while back.

"You're a loser."

"I am not a loser!"

"You need ____ to be successful."

"No I don't!"

"Then why are you still a failure in this area?"

"It just hasn't worked out for me!"

"You know there are things you could do..."

"I won't do stuff like that!"

"That's why you fail."

"I won't do stuff like that because not everyone is like that!"

"Yet you have failed to find even one that is not like that."

"I won't do stuff like that! There are plenty of people that don't do that stuff and are still successful!"

"Again why haven't you found one like that yet?"

"I just haven't met one yet!"

"Other people seem to have no problem with 'meeting one' so to speak. Why are you having such difficulty?"