Tuesday, May 31, 2011

You and I, at the Electric Chapel on the Edge of Glory

Okay so I've decided to give Lady Gaga another chance (truth be told other than "Summerboy" I really don't like much of her music, coincidentally I also don't listen to much Madonna these days either....) and I picked up her latest album "Born This Way" when it was up for $1 at Amazon's digital download site last week. Allow me to share a few tracks.


You and I


Electric Chapel


Edge of Glory

All in all its so so. I'll listen to it here and there but it won't exactly dominate my Winamp playtime.

Later!

Monday, May 30, 2011

So it looks like its not limited to Law and Order: SVU

If there is one thing that watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit will teach its that men are evil perpetrators and under no circumstances do women commit crimes against men for malicious reasons (its ALWAYS self defense, or some man made her do it, or some man in her past made her that way). Well it would seem that The Damned Olde Man has noticed similar behavior in the CBS show Criminal Minds.

Between letting women get away with vigilante justice (in form of the victims of a serial rapist castrating their rapist) in one episode ("Machisimo") and giving a mom a free pass on the behavior that led to her son becoming a killer ("Charm and Harm") its no wonder why people love these shows so much. Its lets them rest easy in the sexist stereotypes that men can do no right and women can do no wrong.

I've been addicted to SVU for a long time and really can't stop watching that show despite its treatment of men. But there may be a silver lining. It would seem that Christopher Meloni, the man that plays Detective Elliot Stabler, is not returning for the upcoming 13th season due to not being able to come to an agreement on his contract. Also Marisky Hargitay, the women that plays Detective Olivia Benson, will scale back her onscreen time on the show (which is going to be explained on the show with her character getting a promotion). Stabler and Benson are the main stars of that show and with one gone and the other leaning back this show may not last much longer. But truthfully I would like the show more if the writers would get it that "men = perps, women = victims" bullshit out of their heads.

Guest Posters Wanted at Ethecofem!

April is looking for another regular contributor over at Ethecofem, preferably of the female persuasion to balance things out a bit, but anyone interested interested is welcome. We like a variety of viewpoints, experiences, and perspectives. Let us know here, or email ethecofem@gmail.com.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I wanna try something

I've seen different hashtags on Twitter.  So I want to try one of my own.  I have a tag up called #iwishthatoneday.  Go on up to twitter and put up something you wish would come true one day.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 53

Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!

State GOP leaders escalate push to restrict voting access: I realize that having election polls open costs money but I don't like the idea of limiting the ability to vote in the name of cutting costs.

Rumor: New Nook Is a Stripped-Down E-Ink Touchscreen Reader Okay I know this would happen but really 6 months. I just got my Nook 6 months ago and a simpler version comes along.

Q. Dating a Deadbeat Dad: Funny how a woman pushes a man out his child's life but he's the deadbeat. Yeah...

A Curious Similarity: Okay I understand that seating arrangements on a plane are not the best but trying to compare them to the "seating" on slave ships? Fail.

Warehouse Comic


Hey, Freshmen...Have You Taken Your Mandatory Male-Bashing Class?: What better way to combat violence against women on college campuses than to start off assuming that all freshmen guys coming in are looking to attack women and require them to attend a workshop titled, "She Fears You." What was that cat's name again? Shrodenger or something like that?

Which Direction Should I Wipe?: Because I have to add some WTF whenever I can.

Challenge: Advertised vs. actual waistline: And this is why I hate shopping for clothes. But at least I don't buy women's clothes.

Smartphones Make People Ignore Commercials Way More Than DVRs: Which probably means that networks will pull a RIAA and MPAA and start lobbying to Congress for some sort of control over smart phones.

Online personal shopper delivers handpicked clothes for shop-averse men: Okay I don't like shopping for clothes (especially shoes) but its really not that serious.

US Senate Committee Passes PROTECT IP Act: Notice how its "accused" not "convicted".

Greensboro man knocks head off Confederate memorial in Reidsville: My money says that this accident will be used as a convenient excuse to repair that statue. Using an accident to to do what town officials have been too scared to do...

Anonymous and the Arab uprisings: The rise of the cyberactivist.


The Herbaliser - Stranded on Earth (Feat. Jessica Darling) Is it me or does this sound like a cross between a Western and Samurai flick? (Samurai Shamploo, Kill Bill, etc....something like that.)


Next Week!

For the people that act like fat hatred against men isn't that bad



So what we have here is an advertising ploy that tells people they should hurry up and buy that ad space before the fat guy takes all his clothes off.

And not only that but apparently it won some sort of award.

Its a fact that when it comes to fat people simply don't want to see it, even on so called privileged men (because even among so called progressive folks it more important to make sure we all know that fat men have male privilege than to actually talk about the whole fat hatred against men thing). Its bad enough that there are forces at work in our culture that say that men are not allowed to feel desired (which works against people that desire men as well as against men themselves) but as we can see our fat can be used as a marketing ploy.

Fucking great.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

This does not surprise me

Leave it to fearmongering organizations to use the old "men are out to attack little girls!" argument to justify discrimination against transgender people. But I think the messed up part is that this one scary ad is used by multiple organizations.



A child molester is evidence that transgender people should not use the bathroom of the gender they identify with?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Are we really that rare?



So I'm watching an episode of "Strange Sex" on TLC a few nights ago when one of their segments (most episodes are 30min and cover 2 stories) was about a man named Jon who was a 36 year old virgin. The segment gave a run down of how Jon has shown interests in women and had engaged in touching, kissing, and making out but never having intercourse. Seems like an alright guy to me and if he's a virgin more power to him and I hope he finds the woman he's looking for to get serious with and take it to that level some day. What struck me as odd was one of the stats that came up near the start of the segment about Jon.
Less then three percent of U.S. males over the age of 25 are virgins.
Now I haven't looked up the citation for that stat but I get the feeling its pretty accurate.

I've said before how men and boys are pressured by society to have sex with girls/women as early and often as possible and Jon actually mentions a few of the results of not giving into the pressure. He mentions how guys who are still virgins at that point are tagged as weird, gay, or religious. Society holds a man's sexual prowess up as a defining part of manhood (right up there with his job his willingness to value the lives of women and children over his own).

Thankfully Jon here does seem to be one that is not caring about people thinking that he is still a virgin at such an "advanced" age. Which is a good thing. I've grown rather bored of people acting like a male virgin is some sort of freakish anomaly that needs to be shamed into non-existence.

But damn, do we really only make less that three percent of the over 25 U.S. male population?

So how about you reader? What are your thoughts on guys that are virgins after 25?

(Bear in mind that I myself am a male virgin over the age of 25. Rude and offensive commentary shall be dealt with. The Hand of Moderation will act swiftly and without mercy.)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Making fun of white women?



More than likely by now you've seen this new Sun Drop ad a few times. I hadn't seen it in a while (due to fast forwarding past commercials with TiVo) but last night something hit me.

Is this ad trying to score on the stereotypes that white women can't dance and that white women have small butts (and therefore don't have much to drop)?

I mean let's face it if Sun Drop had used a black or latin woman for this it probably would not have gone over as funny (in fact I'm betting people would be quick to say that such an ad would be objectifying to said women). But I'm neither white nor woman so its not like I have a real say in it.

Just wondering if people think that this isn't a big deal because its poking white women. (You know that belief that a lot of people hold but no one wants to admit, the though that having what some perceive as privilege in some places actually negates dis-privileges.)

So what do you (and I'm especially interested in hearing from white women on this one) think about it? Feel free to bring up any other ads that you think fall in this category (ads that poke fun at a certain group of people but is seen as okay because that group is okay to poke at on that subject).

Monday, May 23, 2011

Weekly Menu May 16

I actually made this for my lunch last week but due to my hectic schedule and losing two nights of posting to net outage (::shakes fist at Century Link::) I wasn't able to get it up. I modified it from a recipe that I found over at Crockpot365. Here goes.

Lime Ginger Chicken

3 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breast - cut into chunks

4 tblsp of minced garlic

1/4 c brown sugar

About 3 tblsp of fresh ginger (at the time I was shopping I was able to get a small piece of fresh root cheaper than the ground) - chopped as finely as you can

5 tablespoons soy sauce

1/4 c lime juice

Two heads of fresh broccoli - flowers cut off and rinsed

1 orange bell pepper - cut into thin strips


Okay what you want to do is mix up the garlic, brown sugar, ginger, soy sauce and lime juice in the bottom of the crock pot. Next add in the chicken and stir it up to coat the chicken. Cook it on low for about 4 hours, making sure to stir it up so the chicken doesn't stick or burn around the edges of the pot. Also you can take the time while its cooking to prep the broccoli and pepper. The reason you hold them back and let the chicken cook first is so that by the time you add them in the chicken is already done meaning that the broccoli and pepper won't get soggy and wilt, which would happen if you added them in sooner.

I put this over noodles but my dad ate it straight up.

This was good stuff and made about 8 servings for us.

Enjoy!

Reviving a dying tradition

Saturday my town held its 24th annual Seafood Festival (just for fun try to figure out which one I'm talking about). However unless you live in town, grew up here, or have family here you more than likely would not have known about it (no I'm not trying to establish my hipster street cred, you really more than likely have never heard of it). Thing is this festival has been in a pretty steady decline over the last 10 years or so.

You see like almost any community we are burdened with that situation in which a few people make all the decisions on this festival and they are more interested in looking out for themselves than looking our for the town. What does that get us? You end up with booth rent so high that you're lucky to get more than 20 or so vendors selling wares, which leads to a small turnout. You end up with maybe 5-9 vendors selling food, meaning the choices are pretty much the same. Oh but don't think that all that is seafood, what makes you think that? Oh yeah it is called the Seafood Festival who cares about that when a few select vendors (two to be exact) are given a monopoly on selling seafood? Yes its called a seafood festival but there are only TWO places in the whole joint where you can buy seafood. WTF?

I remember 15 or so years ago when it was about the town and not everyone trying to look out for self. This was a time when the festival started on Friday evening around 6pm and ran until about 11pm (just to whet the appetite) and then really kicked off on Saturday running from about 8am until the end of the street dance at almost midnight. But nowadays it goes down from 9am to about 6pm on Saturday and the "street dance" has become a concert held in an open lot next to one of our local restaurants (and went from free to $10 a head).

I'm just venting for the most part but in reality I do want to do something about it. Now I just have to figure out how to get my foot in the door on this committee that plans it out and hopefully inject some new ideas. But despite it being a small town it is notoriously hard to get in on this stuff. Why? Because this thing has been held in the grip of a select few for so long you damn near have to be related to someone on he inside to even know when its going down.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Did I tell you about my Tumblr account?

Remember a while back when I said I was self prescribing photo therapy in order to work on my body image? Well I've taken it to the next level.

If you look at the upper right hand corner at the list of links you will see one (if you haven't already) for my Tumblr page. Yes I've actually gotten bold enough to post pictures of myself online for something other than just a profile pic.

So yeah, I'm getting there.

...then they came for us.

It would seem there is a chance some sort of proposition, bill, amendment, or something on gay marriage will be in the future here for folks in North Carolina. According to this NC is the only state in the southeastern US that does not have an amendment defining marriage to be one man one woman (I knew we didn't have one and I know this is the South but damn, I though at least SC was still holding out).

So what say you folks? What's your thoughts on the subject? And I'm not just talking about in North Carolina (although that would be nice because I don't know if anyone from NC is reading this) I'm talking about gay marriage in general.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 52

Hey there.

Male victims of sex trafficking: Toy Soldier does a pretty good job on wondering why The Good Men Project post on sexual slavery managed to talk almost exclusively about female victims of it.

There's A New Kind Of Oreo, And It's Coming For Your Face: Well now. We are now naming snacks after basketball game stats....

An end of magic: Are all the technological wonders humanity has been cooking up over the centuries taking us on a path where nothing will seem like magic anymore?

City of Dallas steals $2,000 from child: Thankfully the city of Dallas got their minds right but if this kid had not been able to keep the money like the provision said everyone would suddenly be shocked when she grew up not trusting authority figures.

From Fashonista.


Highway 264 Remains Closed Due To Wildfire: Yeah that whole taking HWY 264 to get to the beach thing? That's not happening right now. Came across a few tourists last night trying to do just that and ending up saving them a bit of trouble (for some reason the department of transportation is not exactly putting up signs in the right places for the detour).

RIAA Calls 4th Amendment Passe: Pushes For Warrantless Searches: "The RIAA has been pushing the state of California to pass a new law that would allow completely warrantless searches for law enforcement, allowing them to enter and search any CD or DVD manufacturing plant without either notice or a court order." This is a major problem. Basically the recording industry has decided that their profit margin trumps the 4th amendment.

Stepmom Of Slain Disabled Girl Faces Drug Charges: "The U.S. Attorney's Office said 43-year-old Elisa Baker was indicted Wednesday in Charlotte. The indictment alleges Baker distributed and planned to distribute drugs including oxycodone and hydrocodone between 2006 and last October. She also is accused of conspiring with others to distribute the drugs. In all, Baker faces seven counts. Combined, a punishment for all the charges could bring a prison sentence of up to 140 years."

How To Change, Customize & Create Android Boot Animation: Want some tips on customizing your Android phone?

Topping 'Buffy'? It Kept Gellar Away From TV ... Until Now: Sarah Michelle Gellar possibly returning to TV?



RIP Macho Man


Next Week!

Because the iPad is just as important as human lives

Recently there was an explosion at Foxconn's Chengdu factory in China. If you don't know Foxconn is the manufacturer of Apple products. So far two people have been killed and over a dozen injured. The building where the explosion took place housed the manufacturing line for iPad 2 units. Now I'm sure that Jesus Diaz of Gizmodo is more concerned about the injuries and deaths than the iPad 2 units but the headline he went with just doesn't sit right with me.
Foxconn Explosion Kills Two, iPad Production Line Halted
Seems almost messed up to mention the halting of iPad production immediately after the death of two people don't you think?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Theater Thursday: Heavy Rain

Its Theater Thursday so you know the rules. More than likely whatever I talk about in this post will more than likely have spoilers in it. Tread accordingly.

Yes I know Heavy Rain is a PS3 game but hear me out when I say that watching a playthrough of this is better than a lot of movies I've seen lately.



The game opens with you playing as Ethan Mars, husband of wife Grace and father of sons Jason and Shaun. Shortly after Jason's 10th birthday the family go out for the day at the mall for some shopping. Grace takes Shaun off for shoe shopping leaving Ethan and Jason on their own. Jason runs off to a clown selling balloons and when his dad catches up he begs him for one. Acquiescing to his son's desires Ethan turns to to pay for the balloon but when he turns back his son is gone. Frantically searching through the mall Ethan's pulse is racing (and notice how the music adds to the tension, which happens all throughout the game).

Finally making his way outside our worried dad finds Jason across the street, still holding his red balloon. He calls for him and his son makes his way back across the street, failing to notice the car that's coming. Ethan attempts to save him but fails. Very hard to watch.



The next part of the game picks up two years after that day. As you can see everything has gone from happy and cheery to dark and gloomy. Ethan has divorced from Grace and custody of Shaun is shared. Shortly after while at the park Shaun disappears and Ethan now has 5 origami figures in his possession. These are the work of the Origami Killer. A killer that kidnaps young boys and after about 4 days kills them. Also as part of the modus operandi the father of the mission boy is given 5 origami figures, each with directions to a task to complete. Upon completion the dad is given a clue in the form of some letters in an address. Gain all five pieces and the dad gets the location of his son. Fail and the son dies.

Quite a way to start off I know. Through the course of this game you will take control of 4 people.

Ethan Mars - A dad whose son Shaun is the latest victim of the Origami Killer, leading him through all sorts of hell in the form of trials to get him back.

Norman Jayden - An FBI agent brought in to help with the investigation of the case.

Madison Paige - A journalist trying to cover the story on the killings.

Scott Shelby - An investigator that has been hired to look into the case on behalf of the families of the killer's victims.

Over time while playing as these four people (you don't have any control over when you play as who) you will gather evidence to learn the identity of the killer as well go through a series of trials in hopes of saving Shaun.

I have to say that this is a well made game. Other than the button press sequences that show up on the screen you can really get the feeling you're watching a movie. No heads up display no power meter no explicit game over condition. Oh that no explicit ending thing. Of the four main characters (and Shaun) they each have multiple endings that are chosen depending on who well you perform during the game. Meaning that as you play its very possible that some of the four characters may die and their deaths could very well have an effect on one of the remaining characters.

All in all and I have to say that what kept me hooked on this was the music. Just like in a thriller the music of this game is important. In most video games there is some sort of music going on all the time. However more like a movie the music comes in during certain situations and can get really intense when the action itself gets intense.

And I'll tell you like a good movie this one had me unsure until pretty late in the game about who the killer was.

If you like the likes of Shutter Island and Seven then I recommend watching a play through of this game or if you're bold enough play it.

(Kinda) Out of the office

Internet outage in my area = no posting.

Hopefully it won't be out too long. Not that I have much free time to post.

Later.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Am I taking it too personally?

So this post popped up at Good Men Project by Robert Barsanti yesterday. The post itself is about the value of failure. Overall its a good post however there is one thing that lit my fire.
We live in a culture where it has become very easy to walk away from the burning wreck. Failure has become more transitory and ephemeral in the Broadband Universe. Video games have become the lingua franca of my students. They skip school when a new “Call of Duty” comes out. Instead of grammar and history, they sit at home alone on the sofa and play “fat kid sports.” Should their character die, they can reset the game and start up again within seconds. Should they become frustrated, they can find a YouTube video to guide them through the tricky parts and find the “hidden” treasures. Should even this become too challenging, they can use a cheat and make their character invincible, invulnerable, and infinitely supplied. You lose only if you want to lose. It’s no wonder that the number of kids playing football has plummeted. When you lose to Martha’s Vineyard on the gridiron, you can’t reset the game.
As a fat guy and a gamer this sounds to me like this person is trying paint the illusion that being fat equates to being lazy. Let me explain.

This description talks about kids today that will take the easy way out and dodge difficulty when they can. Implying that kids don't want to work hard to gain anything. Choosing to play video games instead of actually interacting with others. Where one has infinite lives instead of one. Where one can input cheat codes instead of having to tough it out (or at least where is free to win by any means versus being expected to play fair). Where one can just turn off the power and walk away with no regrets and a clear conscience if things get too hard instead of having to ride it out when things get too tough. That's pretty much the definition of lazy. Then the writer then goes on to call video games "fat kid sports". Now after reading what Barsanti's breakdown of what he thinks of video games and what he calls them is it out of place to be a bit pissed about it?

Bear in mind that when people think of a "gamer" the usual image is of either a guy that's pretty average size (or in tv/movie terms the slacker that wastes his life away gaming) or a guy that's small and skinny (or in tv/movie terms the outcast that turns to video games because the rest of the world rejects him. Where's the fat in that?

But even if you manage to find it there's still the part where (in my opinion) we once again see fat being associated with laziness.

Given that we live in a world where one could very well see a fat person being physically active as any "normal" size person why does this association still exist?

Or am I just itching for a fight?

Sound off.

G.I. Obama?

Remember a while back when I said the Medal of Honor is not an XBox 360 Achievement? Well it looks like there are people who still think it is.



What you have here is the latest action figure from the Connecticut toymaker Hero Builders. The figure is of President Obama dressed as a Navy SEAL. This worries me.

Just like the words of Bryan Fischer whom I mention in my previous post this is pretty much glamorizing violence. Passing the message that in order to matter one has to commit acts of violence or that acts of aggression are worthy of praise.

Unless someone is planning on making an action figure for the person/people that cure AIDS, or save a bunch of lives after disasters, or other efforts that aren't violent.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 51

Can you hear me now?

I'm sure you noticed that I haven't posted in a few days but honestly it was a matter of bad timing. I was busy on Wednesday and didn't post, I was going to on Thursday but The Great Blogger Blackout was still on, I was too worn out on Friday, and was too busy yesterday. So here we are.

A cheaper Amazon Kindle—ads included: Call me greedy but I think that $25 off a Kindle in exchange for having ads broadcast on it is a pretty shitty deal. It just seems to me that in the long run you are giving up more than $25 when you've got ads running in you screensavers and on the bottom of your homescreen.

Anthony Graves: Wrongfully Imprisoned, Now Target of Texas AG for Child Support: "So yes the State of Texas put Anthony Graves in prison for a crime it knew at the time he didn’t commit. And yes, it now owes him a nice chunk of change because it did so. And yes, Graves owes child support solely because he was in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.

And tough guy Gregg Abbott’s only response to the whole sorry affair is to garnish the man’s paycheck for a debt he should never have have accrued in the first place." But let me guess Graves is just another deadbeat that wants to get out of his responsibilities right?


DEPUTIES: Skipping School Teen Makes Up Armed Kidnapping: Damn shame what kids will do these days.

How-To: Make a Daft Punk Helmet: Ever want your own Daft Punk helmet?

Sororities announce new policy: Notice how those sororities are absolutely ignoring the fact that that man didn't just attack that women unprovoked. I agree that he went too far by responding with a push and a thrown bottle but let's not act like he just walked up to her and did this on his own. However speaking of going too far I wonder why she threw the drink at him in the first place. Its all empowering and shit to say that that she's the victim because went to far and then say some hip shit like full stop. But for all we know she may have made the unnecessary escalation first. If the guy made a rude comment and she responded with a drink to the face then who is the one that really went too far?

Flashbang Bra Holster: Okay I'll say that I don't wear bras but that just doesn't seem to right to me. And I also think that the size and shape of a person's bust could hamper how easily they could get to it and fire. What say you bra wearers?

Eliminate Muffin-Tops With This Horrible Underthing: ???

New Rule: When you call yourself trying to run, "...a bar for everyone." you can't have a $17 difference in cover charges for men and women (guess which one is higher) because you, "[I] want it to be a place where women can go, have a drink and dance and feel safe that drunks aren't going to be fighting all around them."

Syfy Developing 'Warehouse 13' Spin-Off: I used to be weary of spin offs but NCIS:LA has mostly cured me of that. And now it looks like there might be a Warehouse 13 spin-off. Don't go to the link if you don't want major spoilers about the show.


Brought to you by Monica.


Alright people hold it down.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I'm sure it was meant as only comedy but...


From Dorky Bits.


...I'm can't be the only one that sees more than that right?

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Guiness World Record?

So not only do people grasp at medical straws to justify it, not only can you claim it on your medical insurance, not only is it done out of habit or routine, not only are people so superficial they have it done in order to satisfy other people (dad, future lovers, future peers, etc....) but now it seems that there are people in the Philippines that are trying to get into the Guiness Book of World Records it.

Somewhere in a city in the Philippines people are holding a massive circumcision party in hopes of setting an official world record for the most people attending a mass circumcision.

You read that correctly. In this day and age when people are properly calling out all sorts of human violations for the horrible thing that is people are trying to not only continue with circumcising boys when they literally have no say in the matter but its now become a sport? On the real?

I just don't get it. Why is it that people are in such a hell bent rush to modify everything to conform to one narrow accepted definition they are even willing to put newborns through pain and risk?

Thankfully someone in the comments seems to have contacted Guiness about this sexist and vicious record attempt. Here is their reply:
Dear Hugh,

I can assure you that we are not recognizing this record attempt.

Unfortunately it is out our hands when people advertise that they are attempting a Guinness World Records. We definitely are not recognizing, nor do we condone this attempt.

Thank you for your concern.
Assuming this is true I'm glad to see that Guiness is not acknowledging it. However it still bothers me that, "Some boys cried in their mothers' arms while others bit their shirts to stifle sobs as doctors carried out the surgery..." was not enough to stop this "party" from going on.

So what's a little pain, risk, suffering, misandry, and body violation compared to trying to get into the record books?

Being A Man 101?

As you may have seen here I've got an ongoing series of posts centred around the different components one may (or may not) include into their working definition of being a man. In this series I've talked about genital arrangement, anger, health, and all sorts of things and how they relate to men. But I think the time has come for a formal put together of these thoughts and ideas. A place where one can get at least a basic idea on the beginnings of being a man (whether you are looking for some idea on how to be a man yourself or are just reading about being a man).

I'm not 100% sure on how to do this and I'm betting I'll change it over time as I rethink things and get input from other people. Yes I said input from other people. I don't think I have the absolute authority on what it means to be a man but per my goal here I do think I can start things off.

So what's being a man all about? Well for me there is one thing that is a must in being a man or you will be doomed to fail: individuality.

Individuality (from dictionary.com):
–noun, plural -ties.
1.
the particular character, or aggregate of qualities, that distinguishes one person or thing from others; sole and personal nature: a person of marked individuality.
2.
individualities, individual characteristics.
3.
a person or thing of individual or distinctive character.
Now to be clear the important part isn't that one person's idea of being a man is distinguishable from another person's, in fact a lack of distinction isn't really a problem. The important part is that a given person have the freedom to develop their own concepts and ideas about being a man on their own terms and not be expected to conform to what some outside force tells them what being a man is about. So its not so much about individual conclusion but rather individual discovery. Which leads me to one of my central reasons for making this document.

----------
When you think about being a man and the things that it entails do you include them because they matter to you or because you think others think they matter and therefore you think they matter for the sake of having others verify that you are a man?
You see for far too long the definition of a man has been determined by society, the ruling class, a man's friends/partners/etc..., seemingly everyone except the man himself. This is destructive behaviour and I despise it.

Trying to impose your idea of what a man is on others is a sure fire recipe for trouble.

Example: Shaming men for not leaping into action to help a woman just because he's a man and she's a woman. Yes there are people in this world that think those of us who rolled an XY and/or identify as men somehow owe it to those who rolled an XX and/or those who identify as women to help them simply because of what we rolled and/or how we identify.

The harm in that you ask? Well have you stopped to consider that said man might not be able to give the expected assistance? Or maybe he just doesn't want to. And even beyond that what exactly makes one think that they have hold sway over whether or not that other person qualifies as a man? Sure you may think that person is less of a man but that doesn't actually make them less of a man for not living up to your standards.
----------

This freedom to be an individual is something that ripples throughout most of what I'm thinking about when it comes to being a man. However I think its going to take more than just stating this and calling it a day. Its going to take effort, its going to take thinking, its going to take time. But most of all its going to take discussion.

Yes I know it sounds almost contradictory to ask for input from others on a concept that should be left up to individual men. But in order for this to work we all have to get on the same page and that is going to take discussion.

A particular topic you want to bring up? A component that you think should be included? Don't be scared to bring up things I've talked about in other posts (you can look at the link at the top of this post to my "Working on Being a Man Series" for starting points) or bring up things from other places that I haven't mentioned yet (but please drop a link if you have one).

Again my goal here isn't to build up a definitive guide on how to be a man. Rather I want to have some basic starting points on how to be a man and a bit of guidance on common topics (like emotions, sex, abuse, etc...).

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Weekly Mashup Stage 50

Its the end of the week you know how I roll. Share 'em if you got 'em.

I don't need to criticize feminism, I just quote it: Feminist says false allegations don't matter. Cries foul and closes thread when called on it by "overtly pro-rape site".

Gender Expression And Gender Identity Are Two Separate Concepts: "Gender identity and gender expression are terms for two fully separate concepts. From a legal perspective for transsexual people, as well as for transgender people who don't identify as transsexual people, these are very related terms. And, these terms really can be two peas in a single pod, but at the same time these two terms are definitely not a single pea in a single pod."

Big Hollywood Directors Seem To Think People Will Actually Pay $30 To Watch Movies At Home : Well, would you?

Man says attackers tattooed 'RAPEST' on forehead: Two women and two men taze and beat a man, then tattoo "RAPEST" on his forehead. Why? Because supposedly he "tried to have sex with one of them". No evidence of that has been found though. A grim reminder for people who act like the only damage of false rape accusations that's worth talking about is how they make actual victims scared to speak up.

Colleges Cut Men’s Programs to Satisfy Title IX: Title IX. Are they doing it wrong?

New Japanese Fashion Accessory: Cat Ears That Move In Response To Your Feelings : I wonder how long it will be before these start showing up at anime conventions here in The States.

Fall of the metrosexual, rise of the hipster: Does this mean that hipsters are too mainstream to be cool anymore so its time to move on to something new?

A better way to see more non-anti-male ads on TV: See. Its not so hard to advertise a product without insulting men is it? Nice going Pledge.

Power Struggle Part 1: ElectriCities Rates, Governor Calls Her Bill "Exorbitant": When power bills go off the hook. And you know its bad when the governor, who doesn't spend much time at home in the first place, is complaining about her power bill being too high.

Friday Music: The top five gay love (making) songs: Not bad choices, especially the Mazzy Star. Have picks of your own for such a list?

Gluten-Free Cocoa Pancakes: A few gluten free cooking ideas.

My (Evolving) Definition Of “Patriarchy” (RP): Ballgame of Feminists Critics on what he thinks patriarchy is.


Female Chinese musician plays piano x violin x guzheng.


Marinate on that til next week!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Don't mind me I'm just looking at the moon

So Mother's Day is coming up tomorrow. What a day indeed. A time set aside for letting your mother know that you care. I'm not gonna bother with the whole "you should care all the time" shtick. Just let her know you love her. Yeah she's a parent and probably wouldn't hold it against you if you never came out and said the words or made the gestures (parents are good like that). But never mind that and let her know anyway. Why should you?

Because you never know when your last chance to tell her will happen.

I really can't think of the last time I told my mom that. And now this day won't mean much to me for a very long time, if ever again. Maybe that makes me a cautionary tale. Unless there's a chance in the afterlife I'll never get to correct that. Don't make that same mistake. In the meantime I'll just be looking at the moon, thinking of a dance I'll never dance. Take it easy.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Release the Hounds


That's the first thing I thought of when I saw this.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Woman tries to circumcise son, out on $5,000 bail

(Some pretty graphic stuff here. Tread carefully.)

The opening paragraph is enough to make me want to see Keemonta Peterson of Portland, OR go away for as long as possible.
A woman accused of attempting to circumcise her baby at home using a box cutter and a pair of pliers faces assault and criminal mistreatment charges.
Since this is a woman committing an act of violence we are treated with the obligatory "what made her do it". The Bible and watching videos on how to do it on YouTube.

To make it more disgusting Peterson's attorney actually argued that her bail should e reduced because she "has strong family support and had been attending mental-health counseling three times a week before she was booked in jail". On the real? Strong support from family (I wonder how strong her son's support was) and she's been in mental health counseling since the crime was committed. And the really disgusting part is, it worked.

Judged David Rees lowered her bail from $550,000 to $5,000 and once the 10% ($500) was paid she has supervised visitation with her four children.

So in short a baby boy suffered two hours of uncontrolled bleeding and who knows how much pain (and since he's only 3 months old, who knows what kind of permanent damage although so far it looks like none) because his mother got the idea to circumcise him from the Bible and got instruction on it from YouTube and is now out on $5,000 bail awaiting trial.

Ok this really makes me angry. I am personally against child circumcision unless there is medical necessity. However given that he is only three months old couldn't she have gone and had the procedure done at a clinic? I'm against it but if she's gonna have it done she could at least have the goddamn courage to go out and get it done properly. Hell circumcision can be covered on medical insurance depending on your plan. This is just terrible. But despite that I'm sure this little local news site in Oregon will be about as far as it goes (yes I'm saying it, if this had been a 3 month old girl there wouldn't be enough room on CNN's website and tv crawl to cover it).

Fro Tip to Toy Soldier.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Everlasting Dramatic examples and Symbols

So Osama Bin Laden is dead. Along with the questions I asked earlier I came up one more.

You see when it comes to getting people to support your cause you need a target. A symbol. An enemy that you can focus all your attention on. Something that the people you are trying to convince can point to and say, "That's the enemy!" I think its safe to say that Osama Bin Laden became that symbol over the last 10 years. He has become the face and name of terrorism that we as Americans have been cheering our military forces on to go out and kill. Well now that he's dead does that mean that terrorism has been vanquished? Of course not.

In fact I'm willing to bet that even as I type this there are people in Al-Queda that are vying for the top spot in that organization. Or perhaps they are playing smart and are not going to show themselves for fear of becoming the face of evil that the entire free world fixes its crosshairs on (like Bin Laden and Hussien before him).

And I think that exposes a serious problem when someone becomes a symbol.



What our dear Bruce Wayne may have missed in his speech is that not only is a symbol stronger than a single person but it also focuses all attention on itself until that symbol becomes the thing its trying to represent. Now on one hand this is good considering that Batman does go on to become the living symbol of the fight against crime in Gotham City. However at the same time this also creates the problem of putting all the eggs in a single basket. If you've never read the Batman novel "Knightfall" (I'm sure there was a story arc by the same name in the comics) its about the introduction of a villain named Bane that does what no other villian, even the Joker, was able to do. He crushed the Bat and left him helpless. And (if memory serves) when that happened that was the siren that all the hoods and freaks of Gotham needed to come out and play.

Effectively they thought that with the fall of the Bat everything was fine and dandy for the criminal element to come out and play. I wonder if the same thing may happen with the death of Bin Laden.

Now that he is dead are people going to really start thinking that terrorism is really finished?

Just as other heroes stepped to the plate when Batman was injured (if I'm not mistaken Dick Grayson actually donned the Batman costume while Wayne was out of action) surely there are other terrorists still watching, still waiting, still ready to strike. I'm just a little worried that people are gonna really start thinking that Obama (EDIT: I didn't even realize that I had done this until it was pointed out in the comments. However I'm gonna leave it there just to show how easy it can be to make that mistake. Thanks JM.) WAS terrorism and with him gone the threat died with him.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Weekly Menu May 1

"Danny I've noticed something."

"What's that Danny?"

"Well when we cook something to have for lunch for the week we usually end up having the same thing for 3 or 4 days in a row."

"Yeah that's getting a bit problematic."

"We need to mix it up a bit."

"Yeah we do. I have some ideas."

"What are we gonna do?"

"Well if we use a few common ingredient then add in a few different touches we could come out with three different lunches."

"That's a good idea Danny."

"I know Danny. I know."

That's not the verbatim of the conversation I had yesterday but its the gist.

So as a result I present to you, Lunch for Four!!!!! (don't forget the explosions).




Chicken Alfredo
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts cleaned an cut into pieces.

About 1/3 of a can of diced tomatoes (we'll be using the rest later)

About a handful of frozen spinach leaves, not the frozen brick but the ones that come in the bag in the frozen food area.(we'll be using the rest late)

1 4oz can of button mushrooms, drained and rinsed

1/2 cup of alfredo sauce

1 serving of linguine prepared by the directions on the box.

Prepare the noodles and put them in a container (we're taking this to work remember) and while those are cooling we'll be doing the rest. In a skillet pan fry the chicken pieces, I seasoned the with Jamaican Jerk seasoning. Set most of them to the side (for later) and keep the remainder in the skillet. Put in the spinach and let that thaw and cook a bit. Add in the tomatoes and mushrooms. What you want to do is cook out as much water from those tomatoes as you want. Stir in the alfredo sauce until it heats up. Pour over linguine. Done.



Mini Patties over Angel Hair

About 1 handful of frozen spinach leaves (yes from that same bag from above, we'll use the last of it in a bit).

1 4oz can of button mushrooms, drained and rinsed

1/4 lb of ground round

1/2 cup of spaghetti sauce

1 serving of Wheat Angel Hair pasta prepared as directed on box

Prepare the noodles as directed and put them aside. In a skillet heat up the spinach and mushrooms in some sea salt and olive oil. Add the noodles back in and mix them up real good. Set aside in a container. Pat out the ground round (I mixed in a bit of sea salt, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper) into three tiny patties and fry them up in a skillet. Once they are done lay them on top of the noodle mixture. Drizzle the sauce over the mix and you are finished.



Baked Fish and Spinach

2 fish fillets (honestly I don't know what type of fish they are because I will literally eat any fish you put in front of me)

Half of that remaining bag of frozen spinach leaves

Preheat an oven to 350. Spray a pyrex baking dish with nonstick spray. Put your fish in the pan and surround it with the spinach. Squirt some lime juice over everything then follow with ground ginger, sea salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. Put several pats of butter across the fish and spinach. Cover the dish with aluminum foil, slitting a hole in it. Bake in the oven for about 25min, Good to go.



Leftover Chicken

Remaining Chicken

Remaining Diced Tomatoes

Remaining Frozen Spinach Leaves

This one is simple. Start off by cooking the last of that can of tomatoes from earlier. in a skillet, cooking out the water. Add in the spinach. Once the water has cooked out put the chicken back in and mix it up all nice. I've put it aside in a container by itself but chances are I'll cook some noodles to go with it.




BONUS FIFTH MEAL!!!!!!!

Those two fillets of fish I used above? Well they were two of 6 pieces I had stored in the freezer. I baked the remaining 4 pieces in the oven with lime juice, cayenne pepper, sea salt, and butter at 350 for about 20 min. Fix a vegetable and you'll have another meal (for two actually).



"Wow looks like we don't have to worry about repeating the same lunch this week."

"No we won't."

"And the most awesome part of this?"

"What's that?"

"Remember that pack of ground round we made those mini patties out of? Well that was a 2lb. pack. So we still have quite a bit of it left."

"Yes we do Danny. Yes we do."

Enjoy!

No I'm Spartacus!

So now that Osama Bin Laden is dead I have two questions.

1. How long before people start coming out of the woodwork to claim some credit for it (for their own political gain of course)?

2. How long before we have a new threat in the Middle East that will require 10 years of resources and thousands of live to eliminate?