Friday, February 25, 2011

Weapons of Mass Discussion

As you may know my dealings with feminists have not been all that great. And as a result I do get and often give into the urge to attack them on sight. Then it doesn't help that I then see them go on about how they get treated so unfairly. Which prompts me to lash out at the lashings I've gotten from them. A vicious cycle indeed. Well in my continued effort to clear the air I think it might be worth taking inventory of the weapons we use against each other.

Now let's get something straight. I'm not under the impression that the various ways people use to shut out others or attack them are in and of themselves the problem. They are not and are only a manifestation of something underlying. I want to get to that underlying. Let me explain.

For example Al Queda isn't dangerous because they access to AK-47s and bombs. Those weapons are just the tools they use to carry out their purpose. What makes them dangerous is their desire to change the world to their liking, what they are trying to change it into, and their willingness to use any means they can (up to and including violence) in order to do it.

To make it more personal one of the most dangerous things about me is that I hold grudges. If you hurt me I am consumed with the desire to hurt you back. And nothing will stand in my way. I'll derail, break commenting policies, and get downright rude. My willingness to do those things isn't the problem in and of themselves. The grudge alone isn't the problem. If you took away the painful things the lead me to giving into the grudge would still be there and chances are I would problem just pull another weapon from the armory.

However the grudge does need to be addressed. What causes? Why am I so temped to give into it? What can I do to overcome it?

Its going to take some serious healing to get past this. And let me tell you telling me to "just get over it" does NOT help. In fact that feeds it even more. So its going to take real effort to actually address and deal with my grudging ways.

I'm sure there are other tendencies, tools, weapons, and things that people use to attack and shut other people out.

Do you know of any?


Tim said...

How about "just be yourself" ?

Ever heard that when voicing your own problems ?

Danny said...

Reminds me of a line from a Billy Bob Thorton movie (the one he was in with that Napoleon Dynamite kid). "There's no point in helping yourself. Yourself suck!"