Friday, January 21, 2011

Wow, the first comment? On the real?

So last night I spilled my guys on my hatred of having my picture taken and that hatred being based on being fat. Renee decided she wanted to put it up at here place. At first I wasn't going to out of worry that I'll just be dismissed. But then I told myself, "You know self, if you don't speak up people won't know you're talking." The guy had a point so I went for it. I'm thinking there will be at least some discussion jumping off on this. A little faith. A little bit of exchange. You know all that good stuff that needs to happen for real change to occur. I thought wrong.

Not just the first comment. No the second comment as well (replying in agreement with the first of course).

I definitely agree that fat-shaming needs to end, period, but I wouldn't agree that it's in any way more harsh for men than women (re: "And I get the feeling that there is an extra bit of pain that fat guys feel"). I've seen the difference between being perceived as a fat woman and as a fat man (I'm a transgender man), and the former is much more drastic (with the intersection of misogyny and fat-shaming, and women's bodies being considered everyone's property), though both are obviously terrible and should never happen in a moral world.

I wish more people would stop judging others' weight, period, and I'm sorry you have to go through it - I know the feeling.

Translation: "I know it sucks for you sweetie but rest assured women are the real victims of fat hatred."

I mean really that would have been more honest, more direct, and few keystrokes.

But more specifically I wonder about something here.

(I'm a transgender man)
This if I'm understanding this correctly I take this to mean that this person was a woman who transitioned to a man. Chances are this happened after this person became an adult. So we could be very well have someone who doesn't know how it is to grow from a fat boy into a fat man. Unless I'm wrong about the growing up of this person (and I might be) then to the devil with this person trying to tell me that its not that bad to live the life of a fat man in comparison to "the real victims".

Oh and this:
(with the intersection of misogyny and fat-shaming, and women's bodies being considered everyone's property)
While that it true this person seems to want to use this as a way to negate the intersection of misandry, and fat-shaming, and men's lives being considered an open field for everyone to comment on while said men are expected to "man up" and pretend it doesn't hurt. This would not be the first time someone has tried to use the experiences of women as "proof" that what happens to men really doesn't happen.

Next up:
I agree, deathbystereo. While there is social discrimination against fat men, it is not so prevalent or harsh as against women. Women have been proven to lose wages and to experience extreme discrepancy in health care that is not seen by fat men. "being fat and being a guy is not a cakewalk." is true, but it is also true that anti-fat hate hits women harder.

I dare anyone reading this to tell me that if the genders were reversed (like say saying that the anti-family hatred of the court system hits men harder) it would not be shrugged off as mansplaining, or misogyny, or dismissive, or oppressive, or whatever else they can pile on. Oh and it would also be Oppression Olympics. Speaking of isn't it odd that people don't want to play Oppression Olympics until they are sure their team really does have it worse?

Now that I have that off my chest (I posted a much nicer version of this over at her place because this full response is touching too many tangents) I want to tip my Fro to Renee for reaching her olive branch out. Its a damn shame that those two saw fit to spit on her branch, knock it out of her hand, stomp it to pieces, and then throw those pieces and some dirt off the ground in my face. But at least Renee tried and that's a good thing.

Look folks there aren't that many fat guys that are willing to talk about how painful it is to simply be a fat guy in this world. Mind you with attitudes like those two its pretty obvious why. I'm at the fuck it point and I'm not going to let small minded dismissers with misandrist tendencies like those two to mess it up for me and anyone else that wants to speak up.

Alright I got some other blogs to read and prep my Weekly Mashup.

I'm out.


womanistmusings said...

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that you were hurt by the experience. I know those people didn't get what you were saying but I did and I want to thank you for having to courage to speak out after so many have been silenced.

Danny said...

Thanks for having me. It just pissed me off to no end when I'm trying to speak up and all I get in return is an attempt to use some male privilege bullshit to brush me off. And I still bet money what may get caught in your mod queue is no worse.