Monday, December 6, 2010

Six things men say that signal trouble

More and more the relevance of lists seem to drop more and more by the wayside. I managed to come across this little gem today. Yes I know. Its another example of how this society that supposedly favors men just loves to shit on us by way of forcing us into tiny boxes of what is deemed acceptable behavior. Let's look shall way?

1. "I don't feel like having sex." Sure, every man has an off day. But you know what? Most guys want to have sex all the time. And if you're not getting it on, on a regular basis, especially because your guy is claiming that he's just "not feeling it," you can bet that your problems are going to turn out to be bigger than a case of the sex blues. In this particular situation, you may want to get to the root of the problem before this supposed dry spell kills your love, too.
So I guess the lesson here is that if a guy is not in the mood it can't be that he's under some sort of stress. Or maybe his reduced sex drive is a sign of a problem. Perhaps he just has a low sex drive. Since this article is "here to help the ladies" let me offer a few words on this. There might be some root to why he's not in the mood but for all that is holy don't act like him not sprouting an erection at the drop of your hat is surefire sign of something being wrong. He just might not be in the mood.

2. "I can't stop crying." Sure, sure, the new man is a metrosexual who is really in touch with his inner-self, does yoga, and gets waxed more than you do. But there's a limit to how much a woman can tolerate seemingly unmanly behaviors.

Crying because there was a death in the family? Feel free. Prone to weeping at romantic comedies? Not so much. If your man can't control his emotions, and you find yourself feeling like you're the one wearing the pants in the relationship, you should ask yourself if that's what you want -- a guy who'll cry over spilt milk.

You know if a woman has problems with a crying and thinks that its a seemingly unmanly behavior then I'm willing to bet that he's not the one with the problem. And really a man being emotional is a sign that he no longer wears the pants? I thought we were past that whole "who wears the pants" stuff.

3. "I'm thinking about quitting my job." There are two ways this one can go. He's dissatisfied with his current work situation, he wants to try something else, and this statement is a prelude to telling you all about his big plans for his next career move. That's fine.

On the other hand, if you're living together, and one day he declares he's going to give two-weeks notice today, and so far as you can tell he doesn't have any idea what he'll be doing after that, or how he'll be paying for his part of your shared bills, this isn't someone who has a work issue. This is someone who has an I-want-my-mommy-to-take-care-of-me issue.

I'd really like to hear what Susannah Breslin would have to say about a woman doing this. Just don't see her calling it an I-want-my-daddy-to-take-care-of-me issue.

Need I go on?

Oh and that image? Well its not the first time its been deemed okay for a woman to hit a man.


elementary_watson said...

When I read the list, it struck me that those "problematic" things to say are stereotypically typical for women in a relationship. It clicked at the dreaded "We have to talk" line, which makes grown men panic, but then all the other things fell into place, too. (How could I *not* see it the moment I read the first bit about "not wanting sex"?)

So, the message is: If a man acts in a way that is totally appropriate when a woman does it, he's trouble not worth dealing with. Fuck that double standard.

PS: And the last point is clear and open victim blaming: Your last girlfriend was crazy? Well, something must be wrong with you to go for such a woman. Replace the "crazy girlfriend" with an "abusive boyfriend", and smell how much it stinks.

elementary_watson said...

Also: Some scary comments ... If a man says he hates his mother, it will some day come back to the woman he's dating with once she becomes the mother figure in the family? Maybe if the woman won't try to gather maternal authority over her boyfriend/husband, this won't happen (not all women do this, of course, and some men do look for someone to take care of them emotionally and cleanliness-wise; but relationships where men who see their partners as a mother figure are deeply unhealthy and not the normal way relationships work out - I desperately hope ...)

Toysoldier said...

What is really interesting is that the article comes from The Frisky, as in the feminist website The Frisky. How ironic that a feminist blogger would write that kind of sexist drivel.

April said...

Susannah Breslin is a moron. Most feminists even hate her.

What a horseshit list, too. Like EW mentioned, the things Breslin is saying we should look out for with men are things that society lets women get away with all the time. Basically, she's just in favor of maintaining gender essentialism.

Danny said...

Ironic maybe but not surprising TS.