Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Working on being a man pt.6

This is one of many parts in the ongoing series of working on being a man.

When it comes to living masculinity (or femininity for that matter) different people have different ways of living it. Some feel its about sexuality. Some feel its about sports. Some feel its about mechanics and so on and so on. Let me ask.

Is your masculinity your real face or is it a mask?

You may wonder what this has to do with being a man. Simple part of the script of being a man is that you are expected to live the life of masculinity. Yes there are men out there who don't bother calling their way masculinity but for the most part most men embrace what society calls masculinity. And really there is nothing wrong with long as you are not hurting anyone and are living it because you want to rather than fulfilling someone else's expectations of being a man.

Let's take emotions. Do you have a limited emotional range because that's just the way you are or are you just putting on an act so that people will think you're a "real man"?

Work. Do you work outrageous hours and basically choose career over family because you love your job and/or need to support your family or are you just doing your duty as the provider role because you're a man?

Do you get into sports (playing or spectating) because you actually like them or is it because you want to make sure your masculinity is validated to everyone else?

Is being attracted only to women just the way you roll or is there more to (or something different about) your sexuality that is buried under the cultural expectations of being a horndog that is overwhelmed by the never ending quest to get the nookie.

I think that questioning the parts of what is currently understood to be masculinity is a rather important step to working on what should and should not be a part of it. And more importantly it must established that when talking about what should and should not be a part of one's masculinity we cannot really talk about a single masculinity that everyone must abide by. Just like faces we each have our own masculinity and we must me free to express it as we see fit.