Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Is male masturbation really easy or okay to talk about?

One thing I see/hear people talk about is how there is a supposed green light to talk about male masturbation while talk of female masturbation is taboo. I can't say much on female masturbating but I do question whether is such a green light on male masturbation.

If you think about it for the most part when male masturbation is brought up in public its usually in a manner of joking or pathetic loserness. Sure we see a picture of an attractive woman and its all good to say "(insert lingo for male masturbation)". But let me ask, "How often is it you come across actual, serious conversation about male masturbation?"

In my experience its not very often. And I think the reason is that despite the joking about it there is still a very real stigma of "Wow he actually masturbates? What a loser." I don't think people for the most part are really okay with male masturbation but its more of a case that since men want sex all the time masturbation is a consolation prize for those who fail at being men. That's why its okay in the eyes of people to joke about it because the men who masturbate are men that need to release but don't have a partner to release with.

Chances are when you see characters on tv talking about male masturbation there is an underlying, "You poor loser. Can't even get a woman to have sex with." or "Yeah I joke about masturbation but I don't want people thinking I have to resort to actually doing it."

4 comments:

Jake Turner said...

Longtime follower of your comments on feminist critics and other sites.

Anyway, I think in these conversations we need to distinguish between feminist/liberal/metropolitan forums and the wider public. In these sections of society (possibly inaccurately defined), female masturbation is actually totally ok. In a broader context, it's verboten to talk about.

In contrast, I do think male masturbation, while it is the topic of lots of jokes, is at least widely acknowledged outside of self-consciously "sex-positive/ sexually open" crowds. It's not something men feel like nobody else does. However, as you point out, discussion about male masturbation is not completely free and easy. But this is true of sex in general I'd say.

Danny said...

Thanks for dropping by Jake.

I do agree that that the context needs to be defined and for the sake of my post here I was actually talking about in the broad context rather than limited to certain forums.

As for talk of female masturbation being verboten and male masturbation being okay only in a certain manner I think its just a matter of how society views sex.

When it comes to female sexuality its a matter of society not being comfortable with talk of it. When it comes to male sexuality its a matter of society being okay with it...to an extent.

I go a little deeper here.

womanistmusings said...

I think that you are not acknowledging the fact that there is an expectation that at some point all males will masturbate. You cannot talk about a teenage male and not assume that masturbation is an active part of their lives. Men are taught that it is okay to touch themselves and women are given the exact opposite message. While I will agree that the media will often deal with the issue in a comedic way because society is generally speaking uncomfortable with sex though we profess the opposite, the freedom to explore is still something granted to men.

Danny said...

I think that you are not acknowledging the fact that there is an expectation that at some point all males will masturbate.
I acknowledge that expectation and think that expectation is part of the problem People expect those with female reproductive systems to mensturate but that sure as hell doesn't mean that people are okay with it much less okay with talking about it. Just as people think something is wrong with a woman that does masturbate people think there is something wrong with a man that doesn't. You ever heard the "stat" that goes, "90% of men masturbate and the other 10% are liars"?

You cannot talk about a teenage male and not assume that masturbation is an active part of their lives.
Also a part of the problem. Why must it be assumed that masturbation is part of the lives of teen boys? Why can't it just be okay if they do and okay if they don't? Assuming that teenage males must be masturbating is just as bad as assuming that teenage girls cannot be masturbating.

Men are taught that it is okay to touch themselves and women are given the exact opposite message.
No men are taught that we want sex so badly all the time that in the event that we suck at having sex with women it is THEN okay to masturbate. That's not an okay that's an expectation borderline demand.

While I will agree that the media will often deal with the issue in a comedic way because society is generally speaking uncomfortable with sex though we profess the opposite, the freedom to explore is still something granted to men.
Okay. While I will agree that the media will often deal with the issue in a rude way because society is generally speaking uncomfortable with sex though we profess the opposite, the freedom to choose to not to explore is still something granted to women. Yeah that even sounded like a crock of shit while I wrote it. Basically you are saying that while its kinda mean its still okay to keep male masturbation in the realm of jokes and insults. As long as we are masturbating its okay that its a sign of patheticness. Does that mean that as long as there are women who aren't masturbating its okay for the presumption that they don't to stay alive?

At the end of the day women who masturbate are supposedly dirty sluts that can't keep their hormones in check and men who masturbate are supposedly pathetic losers that can't get with a woman.

Both are wrong and no amount of trying to justify one of them (and I highly doubt you would put up with trying to justify the presumption that girls don't masturbate) will make it okay.

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