Saturday, August 21, 2010


This is a picture that's been making its rounds around the internet this week and I just had to comment on it.

You see as black men chances are those two men have the same set of expectations heaped on them that most of us do. Hypersexual with women. Criminal/Thug. Lazy. Abandon our children. And so on. But above all else we are expected to not show any emotions beyond lust and rage.

And those expectations are why some people are flipping the fuck out over that picture. Even the person that posted used the caption, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW SLEEPY YOU ARE...".

Obvious homophobia aside (because while it possible that they are a couple we can't say that for sure) I think there is more to why people don't like that picture. They can't stand the idea of black men (but I think this reaction would be the same regardless of the race of the men in question) being comfortable enough with each other to be able to lean on each other like that, figuratively and literally.

This fear of men being close to each other is very damaging to men. It causes us to go around with pent up emotions that we are afraid to express in positive or harmless ways until we reach a breaking point and express them in negative ways (which are suddenly okay).

Renee says that men loving men is a beautiful thing. While she is free to believe that I at a more basic level men being comfortable enough with each other to do that in this day and age is so promising. Promising of a day when such moments aren't thought of as being gay and then presuming that such moments are wrong. Promising of a day when a moment of downtime like that isn't cause to tease and ridicule. Promising of a day when such a moment is seen as simply that, a moment.


Toysoldier said...

I do not see anything wrong with the pic at all, although my first assumption was that the two were friends and the one allowed the other to rest on him. A few seconds later I realized that they might be gay. It is kind of sad that the latter is the first though people have when they see two males touching, hugging, embracing or what have you. The automatic assumption is that it must be sexual rather than something a friend, cousin or brother might do for each other.

Danny said...

That's what I was trying to get at. It seems that people are so hellbent on not accepting that men can touch each other in a nonsexual manner that they would rather perceive it as sexual and then lay in on the homophobia.