Monday, July 26, 2010

When signals collide

Okay as you know for the most part society operates with a gender binary. Either you are female or male (anything different and you are considered a freak that needs to be "corrected"). From there you basically assigned a sexuality. With heteronomativity at work people are just assigned to be attracted to members of the opposite side of the established binary.

Well what happens when you are simultaneously expected to be attracted to those of opposite of the binary and feeling attraction to towards those of the same side of the binary, or those of either side of the binary, or perhaps none who are on either side of the binary, (and any other type of sexuality that does not abide by the "you have male and female and each is supposed to be attracted to the opposite" dynamic").

It can be pretty confusing to say the least and I think the younger you are when the collision happens the more fearful the situation is. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to dismiss the confusion of people who feel this during adulthood or later in life I just think that unlike most adults kids aren't as confident, aren't as strong, and aren't as ready for the potential fallout of straying from the binary.

Early in life you are still being bombarded with heterosexuality and in many cases being indirectly or indirectly told that to stray away from it is lunacy and grounds for all sorts of things ranging from being ostracized to be labeled an outcast to being a acted upon with violence. When I think about this I count myself pretty much lucky that I didn't begin to stray from the heterosexuality until recently and was a full grown adult.

Being an adult its not that bad to have thoughts that conflict with the thoughts that were drilled into my head. For years I only paid attention to girls and women and while I am genuinely attracted to them I do wonder if the implication that heterosexuality was what I was supposed to embrace kept me from paying attention to the boys and men around me. I suppose that is lost to the ages. And is no longer here nor there.

But what is here and there is the fact that there are young people all across the world with feelings that go against a binary and expectation that is being reinforced by people all around them. There are young people all across the world that are too scared to go with those feelings and be attracted to who they are attracted to without fear.

Those young people need help.