Thursday, July 15, 2010

Virginity is all in the mind...and that's not such a bad thing

If you look around you the people are all ablaze about the idea of virginity. Some think its a religious necessity to "keep the body pure" until marriage (yeah this one is mostly aimed at women but really the idea that a woman is "dirty" or "defiled" by having sex with a man isn't very friendly to men either). Some think its a treasure that one must guard and protect for dear life. Some act like its a curse that must be dispelled. Some act like one's virginity must be gotten rid of as soon as possible to prove themselves.

To me its just a matter of curiosity.

No I'm serious. Its become ingrained in our minds (well a lot of us) that sex is such a grand and wonderful experience that if not experienced (under proper conditions mind you) one is not whole. Okay its not that serious. To me its nothing more than another activity that I've never experienced before and would like to try.

Mind you I didn't draw this conclusion overnight. At one time I was that young horny guy that wanted to have sex more than anything else. However I was terribly shy, fat, a bit eccentric, and a slightly above average intelligence (in short a death sentence when it comes to teen relationships). But alas I did not die from lack of sex but the curiosity was still there. When I was in college I spent about the first 3 months or so actually trying to get out there and date and get sexually active. That didn't work out too well either. By the time I left college I noticed I just wasn't as hard up (you like that pun don't you) to have sex as I once was. It was no longer the center of my universe.

Now don't get me wrong when I see a woman or man that I find interesting the mind wanders but it just doesn't become all consuming like it did in my younger days. Yeah I'll spend a few minutes thinking about the mature themes and adult situations I would be with that person in (in fact I just had a round of that from watching an episode of Bones, and Gina Torres was guest starring, David Boreanaz AND Gina Torres? mmmmmmmm) but like I say its not a I must do this or I'll die situation.

In the end its only a matter of curiosity.

What is it like to have sex with a woman?
What is it like to have sex with a man?
What types of sex would I like to try?
Would there be toys and if so what would I do with them?
What does oral sex feel like?
What things have I yet to even consider much less explore?

The fact that I've never had sex with another person before (which is pretty much the closest I've come to defining virginity) is a part of my being only because it does affect my experiences, thoughts, views, etc... However it is not the main part of my being. I'm not "less of a man" because I'm still a virgin. I'm not "more of a man" because I'm still a virgin.

I'm just a guy that's curious about sex.


Toysoldier said...

In the title you misspelled virginity.

Dave said...

I've heard something similar from another guy, someone who'd more or less given up on the idea of ever getting laid.

Hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I've always wondered why guys like you don't hire a pro rather than doing without sex altogether.

I can understand when someone's saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons, or if they value virginity and want their first time to be special, but when it's just a matter of curiosity I don't get why you haven't satisfied it.

Danny said...

Nah TS I...uh...uh...spelled it that way just to show that virginity and sex aren't that serious. Yeah that's it!!!

I fixed it.

Danny said...

"Hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I've always wondered why guys like you don't hire a pro rather than doing without sex altogether. "

Well with the area I currently live in to seek out a sex worker would actually probably raise a lot of eyebrows (I live in one of those everyone knows your business places out in the boonies.) If I lived in a larger more populous area (where my activities would not be closely watched) I probably would have done so already.

However even if I lived in NY City there would still be the chances that come along with sex. Possibility of pregnancy, possibility of transmitted infections/diseases, possibility of getting arrested, etc...

So even if I had the opportunity to have sex I'm still fearful of a lot of things. Weird I know.