Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Through a New Looking Glass: Suspecting someone might be gay

When it comes to homosexuality people seem to get very anxious and weird when they think that someone may be homosexual. I'm sure in your days of watching tv and movies you've seen scenes where someone finds out that someone is gay or the possibility that someone is gay. Why in the devil do they get so worried like the possible gay person in question is going to come after them? Is it really so bad that to have a gay person hit on you even if said gay person doesn't match your orientation? I think I may know part of the answer and I'm gonna revive this old title to explore.

Yesterday's Perception: Before I got my mind right I was one of those folks that would weird out over the idea that some guy in my class or at my job or somewhere might be gay. After that suddenly I'm careful around that person. Being mindful not to be along with them for long periods of time. Getting anxious when they are in the vicinity. And (insert deity) forbid that they touch me.

Today's Perception: That old way sounds pretty insecure, silly, and just plain homophobic right? Take a moment to think about why one would be afraid to be in contact with a person who may be gay.

First off being gay is not somehow wrong in and of itself and not some indicator that said person is bad, creepy, mean, violent, deviant, or what have you. Just like any other walk of life gay people are a mixed bag. Some good. Some neutral. Some bad.

Second part of the fear and anxiety comes the thought that if said person is gay then they themselves may be thought of as gay by association. Now while I can certainly agree that it would be wrong to presume a person's sexuality it is worth noting that maybe, just maybe, that part of the reason one does not want to be associated with a gay person is because they don't want to be targeted by some of the very homophobia that they have personally take part in.

Third let's say that said person is gay. Let's even say that said gay person does try to flirt with you. Big f'n deal. What's the difference between being hit on by a person that does match your orientation and you not being interested and being hit on by a person that doesn't match your orientation? You turn them down just like any other person you aren't interested in for whatever reason.

So in the end when you really get down to it the possibility of being gay is not cause for alarm, finding out someone is gay is not cause for alarm, and being hit on by someone who is gay is not a cause for alarm.
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