Wednesday, June 2, 2010

His Body, His Choice?

Okay so I've spoken on the whole deal about men, birth control, and parenting before. As you may know I'm all for men having options when it comes to those things but it just seems that some people are hell bent on using the biological differences between women to intentionally argue against men having options. Take a look at this by Mary Beth Williams of Salon.com on the idea of men having reproductive rights.

While the final word on reproductive rights of men is still up in the air at the end of the day I have to point out a few things that rubbed me the wrong way.
And yet, it's not that simple. There are plenty of paternity tests and child-support suits to go around, but the fact remains that choice for a man is still frequently as close as the nearest door.
This totally ignores the fact that if said man chooses that door that does not always equal a total severing of anything and everything to do with that mother and child he is leaving behind. He might walk out that door but that mother has a legal system setup to aid her in her efforts to squeeze him for all the money he has (and doesn't have).

Now there is some disconnect here. One thing that a lot people may not notice (well I'll be the folks who pay child support notice) is that often times a large part of what they are paying is not the actual support amount but actually interest. Yes is most places (in the States at least) child support payments have interests attached. If the folks that want to advocate for women who are not getting the money they need I recommend they look at the government agencies that are keeping a noticeable amount of what those dads are paying.

Then there is the fact that local and state governments get federal reimbursements for the money collect. In other words the more money they get the more money the feds pay them.

Oh and one other thing. People who don't pay child support are hunted down and tossed in jail for not paying. And on top of that, knowing full well they cannot work and make money while in jail, their payments continue to stack up. So these folks come out with a mountain of child support debt to pay off (and remember a big chunk of that is pure interest). Back to the cell. Not very "all about the interests of the children" to constantly loop someone in and out of jail over child support versus them being out and working to pay is it?

And considering that approximately 84 percent of children in single-parent families are being raised by mothers, it doesn’t look like there's an epidemic of reluctant fathers being dragged into the role of patriarch.

As soon as she can provide proof that all of that 84% is the result of those men running out on them I may put some more stock in that statement.

When it comes to potential to make a child it seems that the general attitude (and the law) seems to be to make sure women have as many options as possible* while making sure men have a few options as possible. And I also find it funny that people in the comment thread of that Salon post are so quick to say, "If he didn't want kids he should have kept in his pants." I wonder if those same people tell women, "If she didn't want kids she should have kept it out of her pants."?





* - The exception to this being abortion. Despite safe haven laws, the ability to put the child up for adoption, and the ability to literally have full control over the father's role in a child's life there are people who strongly oppose abortion.

4 comments:

womanistmusings said...

I suppose you live in a world without condoms right? Just as women are responsible for their reproduction so are men. The bottom line is that if you don't want the risk of an unexpected/wanted pregnancy abstinence is the only option.

Danny said...

No there are condoms over here in reality (I even have even seen them in stores and heard people talk about using them). What I'm saying is that from my own observation the whole, "Well then you shouldn't have sex!" line tends mostly get tossed at men.

womanistmusings said...

Really? Well the point of fact is that people are saying just stop, because men need to be accountable for their actions and this is exactly the basis of the whole then you shouldn't have had sex. I mean really, men constantly act surprised after ejaculating into a woman that baby results, as if this is somehow new information. And the response that men are receiving from feminists is nothing compared to the slut shaming aimed at women for being sexual beings.

Danny said...

Well the point of fact is that people are saying just stop, because men need to be accountable for their actions and this is exactly the basis of the whole then you shouldn't have had sex.
Well considering that when men do such things there are already measures in place to at least try to hold him responsible versus none when women do the same I'd say there are already efforts to that effect.

I mean really, men constantly act surprised after ejaculating into a woman that baby results, as if this is somehow new information.
That's not the problem. The problem is that no matter what said guy tries to do, be it stay around and be a father or try to run out, the power still lies in said woman's hands.

And the response that men are receiving from feminists is nothing compared to the slut shaming aimed at women for being sexual beings.
Yet the response from feminists is okay while slut shaming is wrong? There's nothing wrong with telling men they should stop having sex while telling women to keep it up? That's not progress. That's role reversal for the purpose of revenge (You hurt us so its okay for you to be hurt now.).

At the end of the day when an unplanned pregnancy happens feminists seem to want to make sure the she has every option available to her (which I agree with) while making sure he has as few as possible (which I find to be unfair).

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