Tuesday, February 23, 2010

To be a Non-Custodial and/or Non-Biological Parent

One of the things that Glenn Sacks is passionate about is the right of a (fit) parent to be in the life of their child whether there is a biological connection or not or whether the parent has custody or not. In being passionate about this of course he will be bound to come across those who staunchly oppose the idea that a parent has a right to be in their child's life. One of his latest examples is of a custody battle that pits biological mom (Kelly Mullen)/biological dad (Scott Liming) vs. non-biological mom (Michele Hobbs) over custody of four year old Lucy Mullen. (Glenn uses the term "social mom" but that just sounds like it is belittling the role such a woman can play in a child's life.)

One thing that Glenn points out is that the behavior and treatment displayed by biological moms towards their former lesbian partners is very similar to the way biological moms display towards former male partners such as distance the child from the other parent by trying to break their parent/child bond:
Mullen (and perhaps Liming) are also trying to alienate Hobbs from her daughter. Little Lucy calls Mullen "mommy" and Michele "momma," but Mullen tries to convince her to call Hobbs by her first name instead of "momma." This is very similar to the way some custodial mothers try to convince their children to call their new boyfriends/husbands "dad" and call their exes by their first names.
and keep them out of the child's life:
At one point Hobbs was prevented from seeing her daughter for 7 months. According to Hobbs, she was warned by a child psychiatrist that Lucy might not even remember her. Hobbs says, "It was exactly the opposite. Lucy ran up and hugged me and just started talking and chatting like we had never been apart. She didn't miss a beat."
This type of behavior sounds familiar doesn't it? While it does mostly happen to fathers that want to be in their children's lives but are actively pushed away by mothers and the courts that profit from the alienation and demonization of those willing, ready, able, and fit fathers this case and others like it show that this can and does happen to women/moms as well. Down right anti-woman to declare that since she is not the biological mom she has no place in her child's life ain't it?

And to think this is coming from an MRA. You know those men that only advocate for the taking away rights from women and want to have the right to beat and rape women at will. Yeah.