Friday, December 4, 2009

You know what's not okay?


Cross Posted.

I have received this email twice in the last 3 days and I think it's worth talking about because of one simple reason. This goes to show just how people think female against male DV is not just okay but funny.

Yes you can argue that male against female DV happens more often but that does not justify this type of reaction to female against male DV. You can argue that there are more pictures making light of male against female DV but that does not explain why mainstream media ignores female against male DV and such photos can be openly circulated in the workplace with no problem (and while I don't watch any of the late night shows I'm willing to bet that the likes of Leno and Letterman and their audiences had plenty to laugh at on this week).

Time and time again when there is the slightest hint of female against male violence the immediate reactions are to either say he deserved it and make fun of him, assume that she did it in self defense, or simply stay silent about it because male against female DV is the "real" issue that needs to be dealt with because it happens more often . Not very much thought goes into why this type of DV happens, what to do about it, or how to help its victims.

You can't expect to make the world safe for everyone when you base your reaction to DV on the who and not the what (which seems to be a common failing in many a discourse). There is no denying that such treatment of male victims of female abusers is sexist and such treatment is a serious problem. It silences men who are abused in this manner and it creates excuses to justify the actions of abusive women.


womanistmusings said...

I could not agree with you more and I was shocked when I saw this photo. We should never celebrate domestic violence no matter who the victim is. There is no excuse ever to be violent with your partner.

Toysoldier said...

The double standard in this case is amazing. While I do not think the situation is the same as it was with Rihanna, I cannot imagine any public media figures running Chinese made CG movies depicting Rihanna's assault nor can I imagine that anyone would be supporting a change in the pre-nup agreement so that the husband can receive more money if a divorce occurs after a husband assaulted his wealthy wife.

Danny said...

Chinese made movie?

Yes the double standard is amazing and just as amazing is that people can't seem to get past the comparison to Rihanna. Probably because if they were to look past those comparisons they would realize that the double standard (in this instance) is actually against men.

Danny said...

We most certainly should not be treating female against male DV when it happens and we will all be better off when the day comes when all DV, regardless of who the abuser and victim are, will be treated properly.

Toysoldier said...

The Chinese video is something you have to see to believe. Several networks, MSNBC in particular, ran it daily this past week.

Danny said...

Wow that is a shock TS.

But not to be outdone SNL threw its hat into the ring this past weekend.