Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Okay I'm ready to explain

If you noticed the last two posts I made you probably concluded that I don't have much tolerance for Mother's Day. Before you start attacking let me explain why.

This year is the 5th anniversary of my mom's and gramma's deaths.

I can safely say that 2004 was the worst year of life so far.

School - I was depressed over having to drop out of college because I ran out of money during the summer of 2003. After four years of pursuing a BS degree in Computer Science I had to leave. I would have only needed another 1 1/2 to get that degree. Even now almost six years later it still hurts.

Job - After being employed at Spencer Gifts from 2001-2003 I was suddenly without a job at the start of 2004. It wasn't until April 2004 I found another job and 4 months after I got the job I'm currently holding. I was only unemployed for about 4-5 months which is nothing compared what other people go through but damn that was still hard.

March 8, 2004 - My mom passed away from what her doctor called, "the most aggressive case of cancer I've ever seen". She was diagnosed with with breast cancer in spring 2003 and when she died on March 8, 2004 it had spread to her lungs, liver, bones, and was starting to work on her brain. With no job and no school I took on the task of providing my mom with daily care while my dad worked and my sister finished high school. Try to imagine watching your mother still try to perform daily tasked like cooking as she wastes away. Try to imagine watching your mother in so much pain that she almost completely stops talking. Try to imagine you mother getting a Valentine's Day gift from your dad and she doesn't recognize that its for her. But despite all of that I've still yet to shed a single tear (which is something I'll get to that one day in another post).

May 11, 2004 - While my family and I were still getting over my mom's passing my grandmother (on dad's side) passed away. Now what makes this passing significant is that she was the last of my four grandparents. Both my grandfathers died before I was born and my grandmother on my mom's side died back in 2001. That means no fond memories of spending time with granpa like most other people have.

So as you can see Mother's Day has become a bit of a Ba Hum Bug day for. Everyone else is welcome to it but I think I'm done with it. Oh did I mention that I actually ended up spending this past Mother's Day in the hospital with dad who had a perforation in his colon that required surgery to repair?

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