Sunday, January 4, 2009

So I'm really trying to rape her?

Like the title implies this post talks about rape. I've never needed to forewarn readers here before and I'm not sure if I need to now or not. So for the sake of caution I'll put a warning here anyway. If talking about rape makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason you might not want to read this.

Check this shit out.

That post is a break down of the various forms of rape according to Maggie Hays. Well according to Maggie it almost sounds like she is saying that male heterosexual sex drive in and of itself if nothing but the vile desire to rape a woman. You know how MRAs complain that people try to make male sexuality dirty and disgusting? This is the kinds of bullshit they are talking about.

It would seem that Renegade Evolution and the folks over at her place (which is where I got the link over to Maggie's) don't seem to be too happy about that list. They don't like the notion that women are such delicate works of art that the only way to protect them from unwanted advances from men is to criminalize male sexuality. Honestly I don't blame them for that. Women are adults and are capable of picking their sexual encounters and unless someone can prove that acts of rape outnumber acts of consensual sex there is no reason to just assume that every time a guy chats up a woman or does something nice for her his sole motive is to have sex with her and even if it is and they do end up having sex it is not rape. But if you wanna know what some women think about it go check out what Ren has to say about it. I'm here to talk about what I, as a man that apparently is only motivated to do nice things for a woman by the chance to lure her into my web of rape, think about it.

Shortly put its bullshit. Here goes:

- prostitution: (in the vast majority of cases) when a woman or girl's body is bought and sold to primarily satisfy men's sadist sexual desires in a patriarchy;

Unless the prostitute in question is being forced to into it prostitution is not rape. Yeah she did say "(in the vast majority of cases)" and she might even have some numbers that show most acts of prostitution is against the prostitute's will but it almost sounds like this was thrown in to silence anyone that would dispute this.

- pornographic coercion: rape of the mind; forcing or persuading a woman or girl to watch pornography so then her resistance to unwanted and uncomfortable sexual activities can be more or less overpowered. Alternatively, pornographic coercion can be forcing or persuading a woman or girl to have herself being photographed or filmed whilst naked or having sex;

Rape of the mind? So if I'm forced to watch something I don't want to watch then I'm being raped? I suppose if I'm forced to walk somewhere I don't want to it's rape of the feet right? But seriously I wonder if the attempt to call this rape is based on the images in question are sexual. And it would seem that voyeurism is also rape as well. Follow me on this. If I drug a woman's drink and have sex with her it is obviously rape because I bypassed her ability to consent. If I physically overpower a woman and have sex with her it is obviously rape. So if I put a camera in a woman's bedroom to take video or go out in public and take upskirting photos of a woman I'm raping her? Violating her privacy of course but rape it is not.

- seduction: when a man persuades a woman to have sex with him, often subtly, through being kind, polite, chivalrous, etc;

Read this one and weep guys. Buying your lady flowers? That's laying the groundwork to rape her. Cooking dinner for her? That's the first step on the road to rape. Waiting on her hand and foot when she's sick? That's the first step on the path to rape. I do agree that chivalry can be bad for one's health (especially a man's) but to just classify attempts made by men to earn the affections of women not only as an attempt to rape but rape itself is going too far.

Now this is not to say that everything on her list is nonsense:

- forcible rape (the most obvious), i.e. literally violating a woman while using threats and violence;

- sexual coercion: this may involve grabbing, pushing, hold a woman down tightly, forcing any kind of sex on her, though sexual coercion may take different subtler forms, e.g. closer to sexual demand;

I'm not sure I would want to associate with the kind of person that didn't think things like this were rape.

I'm not saying that women should never be suspicious of men. There are a lot of dangerous men out there and a lot of them do indeed hurt women. But according to that list everything men do should be suspect. Maybe MRAs are on to something when they talk about man-hating feminists after all...