Sunday, November 23, 2008

I don't need this!

If you recall last Saturday there was a nationwide (even though I understand there were even some international locations too) protest of Proposition 8. Originally I had said that I had plans and would not be able to go. Well my schedule was altered at the last moment and I was able to go to one of the locations.

And an educational experience it was. I have a talent and pleasure for being able to go unnoticed (I call it Easily Forgettable Presence) and it paid off that day. Just leaning back and listening to people talk opened my eyes in a way that reading their words never could. I spent a good portion of the afternoon listening to one of the guys there. He was an older man who was talking about his lover that was unable to be there himself because being seen there would have put his career in danger. I've read a lot of blogs that tell stories of being scared to speak up for fear of their careers, families, and even lives being endangered but to have someone say that just put a lot more power behind the words. And I really didn't blame him for not offering his own name during the conversation.

Sure enough there was a small crew from the local news station to record some footage. Damn.

The reason I waited a week to post this is because this was an event for the gay community, it was their day, and it was about them. However what happened later that night pissed me off to no end and I just have to vent.

Later that night I got home and was about to go to a friend's house to chill and that is when it happened. As I'm heading out to my car my dad comes to the porch and repeatedly flips the light switch like there was a rave in my house. I knew it was 11pm and the local news was on and I knew what he going nuts about. Knowing full well there was no power on earth that would make him just forget it I entertained him.

I go back inside and he is going fucking insane. You'd think we'd won the damn Super Bowl. "Look you're on tv!", "You gotta see this!", "Look at this!" Now don't get his excitement confused with the basic, "OMG someone I know is on TV!" excitement. So he sees some footage that was taken of me at the site and proceeds to tell me, "You don't know how this makes you look." more times than I care to count. He spends a few minutes telling me that people will think that I'm gay for being there and he says it in a tone like I don't know how people in the country operate.

But the kicker in all this was his last bit of insight.

"With my job I don't need this!"

I just walked out the door pissed off at him. What popped in my head was the conversation I had earlier with that guy about his lover who wasn't there for fear of his career. But at least his fears were valid. My dad was afraid his career might be in danger because people might think his son was gay.

Now I've had people assume I was gay before and its never bothered me. But for some reason hearing some silly shit like this from my own father pissed me off to no end. All this makes me wonder how he would react if I were gay and came out of the closet about it. In the end I wouldn't not give a shit what he thought (but that is based on other things as well) but curiosity has always been one of my biggest faults. I don't want to believe that my dad would be homophobic but again I wonder...


frau sally benz said...

I didn't even bother telling my parents that I went to a rally because I know they probably would've said something very similar. "What will everyone think of this?!"

It's sad that they have this reaction, but AWESOME for you to go!

Danny said...

Honestly I had no intention of telling him for this very reason but he is one of those "watch the news every goddamn night" type people. Truth be told there would have been no problem if the camera crew hadn't actually gotten footage of me there.

frau sally benz said...

True. Darn those parents, what a way to let you down sometimes!!