Thursday, October 16, 2008

...but that's not the main issue at hand here.


Anyone who has been paying attention to the GLBT community recently knows about Proposition 8. In case you don't know Prop 8 it is a measure that will be on California's ballot this year. What is the measure you ask? It's a measure designed to eliminate the right for homosexual couples to marry.

To say that the gay community has had a hard lot in life would be a severe understatement. Targeted for all sorts of things from name calling to countless acts of discrimination to even murder. Yes there are several walks of life that have faced those things and many facing those things even as you read this. Yet the gay community has to deal with one thing that most of those other groups don't have to deal with. I've had my share of mistreatment due to being born into the combination of being black and male. Women the world over have been and are being mistreated just being born female. There are men who have to put up with mistreatment due to their gender. However as long as those women, other men, and myself are heterosexual we don't have to worry about being targeted for harassment over who we fall in love with.

You can try to think about that and goodness knows I have. To have to be worried about what gender you are attracted to. I've never been in a relationship but I just can't think about how it would feel to not be able to make public displays of affection with the woman I'm in love with. Or pretending to be heterosexual because I don't know who may attack me for being gay. Or hiding my feelings out fear of losing friends or being disowned from my family. Do us both a favor and go check out the perspective of a woman who can think of how it would feel.

Most activists are angry and they should be but honestly I'm past anger (not to say that anyone else should though). I've gone into sadness, confusion, and pity. To know that there are people in this day and age that have to keep it a secret who they fall in love with makes me sad. To know that there are people in this day and age that think someone's sexual orientation makes them fair game for harassment confuses me. To know that in this day and age anyone who thinks that sexual orientation is a proper way to base how they treat someone, such people have my pity.





Now I'm sure you're a bit confused by the title of this post. The title is because of one other part of the ad. When the "Gender Auditors" measured the couple for inspection why did they have to throw in a penis size joke on the guy? That ad could have very easily gotten its point across without resorting the age old tried and true formula of insulting the size of a guy's penis. And even though it would be just as wrong I didn't hear them make jokes about the woman's labia not being symmetrical or taking pictures of them. So to explain the title of the post it means, "Yes this ad is making fun of men but that's not the main issue at hand here.

2 comments:

Ken said...

It is not just his size that is offensive. I noticed that only a female checked the woman out while the male was exposed to everyone, including the woman sitting at the desk and several other women. This is common however as often when searchs are done, woman can strip search males but men can never strip search women.

You said "Women the world over have been and are being mistreated just being born female"

Men have had to pay the price for being male throughout history as men had to do the risky jobs that would result in death far more often than women. I ask you, are women being mistreated when in a hostage situation where a lot of women and men are hostages, the police request and often get the women released first and when all the women are released and only males remain hostages, armed intervention is far more likely since the only ones who will die will be males.

Of course, when it is only males who are doing the dying, we do not hear anyone complain but when women are made uncomfortable, men are expected to go rescuse them even if it means the death of hundreds of males.

Now tell me just how women have been mistreated and men have not been?

Danny said...

Men have had to pay the price for being male throughout history as men had to do the risky jobs that would result in death far more often than women.
I most certainly agree with you here.

I ask you, are women being mistreated when in a hostage situation where a lot of women and men are hostages, the police request and often get the women released first and when all the women are released and only males remain hostages, armed intervention is far more likely since the only ones who will die will be males.
I agree with you here as well. There are certainly situations in which men are mistreated (personally I hate that "women and children first" chivalrous crap and I also hate the fact that people will try to use it to shame men into doing things they don't want to do). However at the same time there are certainly situations in which women are mistreated because they are women.

Since this post was about an anti-gay proposition let's talk about homosexuality. While gay men are shamed for not liking women and told that they are not real men because they are gay, gay women are shamed for not liking men and are told that they are not real women because they are gay.

In your mention of women being getting preferential treatment. While I certainly agree that there is an attitude that women are more worthy of being saved than men there is an attitude that women are inherently weak and therefore need to be saved. Ken chivalry is a fucked up system that damages men and women.

Now tell me just how women have been mistreated and men have not been?
Along with what I mention above you have the way women (in the States at least) are treated when it comes to abortion. Violence that is not limited to sexual and so forth. However I refuse to say that men have not been mistreated because there is far too much of it going on to say its not happening. In fact I've been touching on that a lot lately in my "Working on being a man" series. They are a series of posts that in which I talk about being a man in this world and I tough on a lot of what we're talking about here. But I warn you its pretty basic stuff and there's quite a bit of repetition, which I think is a necessary starting step to helping guys out.

As far as I'm concerned I've grown bored of people acting like their group is the only one that's being harmed by the way things are now. There is plenty of damage going around. So while I won't spend the majority of my blogging here going on about how women are harmed I at least acknowledge that it does happen.

Thanks for dropping by.

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